• Attraction,  blog,  Dating Advice,  Men

    It’s Not You, It’s Him

    There are a lot of things to consider when you are dating and seeking a partner.  Most articles eagerly point out the obvious like “do you like him,” “are your lifestyles and values compatible?” One question women often overlook that lands them in miserable, unsatisfying relationships is probably more important than any of the others. Does he like women? I’m not talking about his sexual orientation.  I am talking about heterosexual, sexually active, professional, everyday men who just don’t “like” women. They want to have sex with women. But that’s not the same as “liking” women.  You’ve got to wonder (and verify with behavior) if he actually “likes” women. I…

  • blog,  Essay,  Mindset

    Trauma and Emotional Toxins

    Traumatic or intense events are toxic. They get into every part of our physical body, our emotional sphere and our head space. And like any other toxin or poison, it takes time to expel them. Some of it comes out as tears, some as sweat, sometimes you lose your hair. You can’t expect that at the end of the event, the ramifications will end. You have been poisoned and it will work its way through every part of you on its way out. If you stay close to the trauma, more poison will seep in and it will take longer to expel it. Just as with any toxin, some of…

  • blog,  Essay,  Life Lessons

    We Can Bounce

    When people get out of a tragic or toxic situation, they tend to go a little buck wild. I see it often; they are coming out of chaos, out of repression, out of despair-they have broken free from pain, suffering, confusion and limits. Once they breathe their freedom, they expel their conditioning; they purge their doubts, they reject their insecurities and they live with abandon! It looks like they are out of control. Others, on the sidelines, wag fingers like “oh she’s gone wild.”  They judge as if it were a bad thing.  As if her containment were more admirable than her freedom.  As if open, liberated, balls-to-the-wall living were something she should quit.…