• Attraction,  Essay

    Desire is Life

    Desire gives our lives meaning and purpose. Wanting something, or someone, gives our life the spark and push we need to work through the hard parts, wake up in the morning, get excited. Desire is the ignition for everything we care about. We may think having all our needs and desires met at the snap of our fingers would make us happy and fulfilled but the truth is it would make you bored and miserable. We would have to find something new to strive for. We would desire a new desire. Too often we think that achieving our goal is what gives us satisfaction. In fact we take the most…

  • Essay,  On Writing

    Writing About Sex and Sports

    Sex is one of the hardest subjects for many writers. It can be hard enough to talk about; we tend to make jokes, be evasive, fall into cliché descriptions. We love the subject but we don’t always love talking about it. Writing about it, in detail, is even harder. It’s easy to sound too vulgar or too prudish. It’s common to feel too vulnerable, writing about something that regardless how great or fantastical or fictional your other writing may be, people will assume is your personal history or your fantasies.  We can write science fiction, murder mysteries, gory thrillers and no one will assume you are a murderer but if…

  • Attraction,  Essay

    What is "Game"?

    We’ve all heard dating called a game. It’s a game of cat and mouse. There are players, winners and losers. There are also “rules of the game,” and ways to cheat the game. But there is also another way that the word “game” is used in dating to describe the traits that make a man desirable that may be harder to identify or communicate. “He’s got game” is a common description of a man who does well with women. He attracts them, seduces them, enjoys them. He is the kind of man who has his pick of woman and doesn’t need to conform to their rules and requirements to keep…

  • Fiction,  flash fiction,  Header Slider

    Sensual Anarchy

    Your love is so cold and clothed.  Your brutal indifference.  I’m bringing needy back.  It’s become such a curse, it’s a shame, to need someone. Why!? We want to be needed but we don’t want to need. Vulnerability is a dirty feeling, like insecurity and failure. No one will admit to disappointment. No one wants their imperfections shown. What a waste! Who will step forward and say, “I need something. I need you. I am confused and helpless at times and you heal me. It’s you! It’s you that I need!” Everyone and their no fucks given. There’s no appeal in that for me.  I have lots of fucks to give.…

  • Attraction,  Essay

    Five Reasons to Make Him Wait For Sex

    You’re a grown woman and you can do what you want. I know. I get it! You will never hear me telling you there’s anything wrong with being sexual, and having sex when you want and who you want. These are absolutely personal decisions that you have every right to make on your own and I am not here to judge. I am, however going to give you a few reasons why making him wait, is even better than giving it up. 1. You Can’t Screw Your Way Into A Relationship It has happened, I’m sure, to someone somewhere, but I will still dare to say that you can’t screw…

  • Attraction,  Essay,  Header Slider,  Social Conditioning

    Men Love Sex, Women Love Attention.

    There’s so much bitterness and resentment currently between the sexes.  Why? Because they simply don’t understand each other.  They want the other to be just like them.  The myth of marrying your best friend and equality and treat him/her how you want to be treated has completely confused the f*ck out of everyone. I’m not saying he can’t be your friend. But he’s not going to be like your girlfriend.  If you want a partner to shop with you and talk to you endlessly about what could or might happen “if” scenarios, then you want a partner who is a woman. He doesn’t want that.  Similarly guys, if you want…

  • Attraction,  Essay,  Men

    Being "Nice" Doesn’t Get You Sex

    Here’s a secret that Nice Guys don’t seem to understand.  If you read this and you are thinking this is the most obvious post on the planet then you might be either a bad boy or a good guy.  But there are guys who will read this and think, “well yes that makes sense but…”  If there is a “but” at the end of your thought, this post is for you. Being “nice” doesn’t get you sex.  Doing the dishes, buying flowers, taking a woman to dinner, complimenting her dress, buying her jewelry and getting married are also things that do not get you sex. Being “lucky” doesn’t get you…

  • Attraction,  Essay,  Men

    Rejecting the Nice Guy

    It’s no secret I’m no fan of “nice guys.”  I’m not talking about “good” people here. I love good people. In fact, I’m glad– for the sake of common decency and societal calm–that nice guys are nice and polite as a course of their day because grumpy, negative Nelly’s are worse, but as far as dating goes, I’m not going to date a “nice guy.” Nope. Not going to happen. I find “Nice Guys” to be artificial, entitled, self-absorbed and dull. A nice guy spends so much time trying to be who he thinks you want him to be, that he has no idea what he wants or needs. Nice guys…