• blog,  Mindset,  Observations OMS,  Women

    Women Are Needy and Terrible Listeners

    It’s true.  Women are terrible listeners. I don’t know how we got the reputation for being good listeners because we aren’t. Not even a little.  I guess we are good at all the peripheral signals of listening: eye contact, nodding, sympathetic sighs, touching a hand, asking probing questions. But when it comes down to actually hearing information as it is and then acting on it in an appropriate way, we suck. For example, often when we are dating a guy he will say things like, “You shouldn’t date me, I’m an asshole,” or “I’m not ready for a relationship,” or “I’m not looking for anything serious.” And instead of going,…

  • blog,  Dating Advice,  Love is Blind Book,  Social Conditioning,  Women

    He Doesn’t Want What You Want

    Men and women have undeniable similarities in what they want out of life, love and relationships, but how they find and express these desires is very different.  It is my belief that men and women seek a deeply intimate and passionate relationship with a partner.  We want to be with someone who both challenges and comforts us, who supports and encourages us, and also someone who knows when to rein us in, sit us down and remind us to take a break. When it comes to relationships, communication is one place were we are on different paths.  Not our verbal communication or even our non-verbal communication– where we miss the mark is how we…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Dating Advice,  Men

    It’s Not You, It’s Him

    There are a lot of things to consider when you are dating and seeking a partner.  Most articles eagerly point out the obvious like “do you like him,” “are your lifestyles and values compatible?” One question women often overlook that lands them in miserable, unsatisfying relationships is probably more important than any of the others. Does he like women? I’m not talking about his sexual orientation.  I am talking about heterosexual, sexually active, professional, everyday men who just don’t “like” women. They want to have sex with women. But that’s not the same as “liking” women.  You’ve got to wonder (and verify with behavior) if he actually “likes” women. I…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Essay,  Mindset

    Emotional Stability Will Ruin Your Relationship

    Despite all the Martha Stewarts of dating who would like you to believe that the holy grail of a healthy relationship is emotional stability: It’s not. A preoccupation with emotional stability, yours and your partners, will ruin your relationship.  Lazy thinking causes people to think in binary opposition. They posit; “Emotional instability is bad, so emotional stability must be good.” Then someone goes off and writes an article or a book about the virtues of emotional stability simply by comparing it to toxic, abusive, immature, selfish, and downright crazy emotional instability makes some money, talks to Ellen and boom! Suddenly no one wants to be labeled as emotionally unstable and…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Essay,  Love is Blind Book,  Medium,  Observations OMS

    The Secrets of a Man’s Heart

    Women love sex. Not only do women love sex, but, in fact, women are far more sexual than men.  When it comes down to it, men enjoy the release of orgasm and love sex, and they are biologically wired to seek out sex, but when aroused, women have a much deeper, and more complex sexuality, and a far greater need for sexual exploration.  A man’s horniness is chronic, but a woman’s horniness is acute and when aroused, women are more likely to “lose contro,” and “lose themselves” in the sex act than men.  Both men and women experience lust and desire, but for men these desires are on a lower, but more…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Medium,  Women

    She’s Not Moody; She’s Horny!

    Gentlemen, This might sound crazy to you, but bear with me. I want you to start tracking your girlfriend or wife’s menstrual cycle on your smart phone. It’s easy to track on your phone with free apps available through Google Play and the Apple store. I’m not telling you this so that you can show up with tampons and chocolate at just the perfect moment (although that would be pretty awesome too!) but so that you can observe the natural peaks and valleys in her hormones to build a better sex life. If you pay attention to her needs and behavior while tracking her menstrual cycle, you will learn how her…

  • Fiction,  flash fiction

    He Wasn’t Prepared

    He was prepared for everything else, but not for this. He was prepared for hard work, for sacrifice, for long hours. He was prepared to do what’s right, what’s necessary, what no one else would do. He was prepared to go unnoticed, to get the blame, to go without. He was prepared for a fight, for war, for death. He was prepared to ignore the pain, work through the injuries. He was prepared to never understand why. But, he wasn’t prepared for this. He wasn’t prepared for the softness, like a faint perfume stirring him awake. He wasn’t prepared for this racing heart when he heard her voice. He wasn’t…

  • blog,  Essay,  Life Lessons,  Mindset

    A Deep Need for Excitement In All Of Us

    Our lifestyles set us up for repetition, redundancy, disappointment. We fear risk and rejection and as a result we suffer from lack of excitement. Our need for excitement as real to our bodies and our health as  healthy food and water.   A lack of excitement will leave us run down, confused, lethargic and sick like a vitamin deficiency. So we will seek it out subconsciously and suffer emotional, even physical, consequences if we don’t have any or enough of it. So, when we do not know how to create healthy excitement in our lives, we settle for whatever we can get. We are hungry for food but we settle for…

  • blog,  Dating Advice,  Love is Blind Book

    Relationship Arson

    Are you committing Relationship Arson? Are you unhappy in your relationship and so instead of addressing the changes that need to be made in yourself or working to reignite the spark with your partner or going through the hard process of leaving and potentially being alone are you having an emotional or sexual affair with someone else? I’ve noticed sometimes people can’t muster the strength of will to make necessary changes in their life but they have an urgent need for change. So instead of moving out piece by piece and leaving the house (or their partner) in tact for the next occupant, they burn the whole house down. Only…