• Attraction,  blog,  Love is Blind Book,  Mindset,  Thoughts on Women Book

    You Don’t Have To Like Everyone

    We all want to be good people. We want to treat others well and be treated well. We want to be optimistic, tolerant, generous, honorable, agreeable and kind and many other virtues that we would use to describe someone we would admire very much. We want this because it is right, but also because the pain of being rejected because we don’t have these traits is real. We want people to like us. To be liked, we try to follow the golden rule and treat others how we would want to be treated — with patience, tolerance and love. This is how we open ourselves up to abuse. This is how we…

  • blog,  Essay,  Mindset

    Roll With It

    Did you ever hear that if a drunk person falls down the stairs he or she will sustain far fewer injuries than a sober person?  The reason is that the drunk person is relaxed and therefore more flexible. The sober person, anticipating the fall, will brace him or herself for the fall. She will stiffen and tense up.  As a result, she will tear tight muscles, break bones, and be far more hurt by the fall than the drunk person. I’m not advocating drunkenness. Easy as that may sound as a solution, we all know the other drawbacks.  I am advocating for you to chill the fuck out.  Relax. Loosen…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Essay,  Mindset

    Desire is Life

    Desire gives our lives meaning and purpose. Wanting something, or someone, gives our life the spark and push we need to work through the hard parts, wake up in the morning, get excited. Desire is the ignition for everything we care about. We may think having all our needs and desires met at the snap of our fingers would make us happy and fulfilled but the truth is it would make you bored and miserable. We would have to find something new to strive for. We would desire a new desire. Too often we think that achieving our goal is what gives us satisfaction. In fact we take the most…

  • blog,  Mindset

    Living The Dream

    We were talking about the trap. We were talking about the world, society, life, passion, dreams. Easy conversations for us. Topical subject because of the stress I’ve been feeling. We were slowing things down, in conversation by talking about big, intangible things and ides. We were talking about living the dream. We all have a different dream. We all want to live it. Almost none of us are living ours. He’s living the dream, he tells me. He means it. But it sounds funny to hear it. He doesn’t have a jet or a boat or a mansion. In fact, it’s not even that he doesn’t have the luxuries, but…

  • Balcony,  blog,  Members Only,  Mindset

    It’s Spring and I’m an Electrical Storm

    I am going to show my broken places while sharing how we can carve a new path of self-reliance without shutting opportunities for love and connection. We need to learn to identify who truly deserves our attachment, trust, commitment and loyalty and then give ourselves freely. Not the other way around. We've been giving ourselves freely to those who don't deserve us and then wondering why we are not appreciated, not valued, not loved and protected.

  • blog,  Mindset

    Insults Don’t Matter and Neither Does Flattery

    You Can Walk Through Glass If you woke up one day and found out that something that has the capacity to cause great injury had no effect on you, how would you react? If you realized that, for instance, you could walk through glass without a single scratch, much less the bloody lacerations that would have once torn through your flesh or that tear through the flesh of others, what would you do with that super power?  When you have a no bullsh!t mindset, you can walk through glass without injury. Some would call this being practical, or no nonsense. It’s down-to-earth and fact based.  To many, it’s the red pill. Reality…

  • blog,  Mindset

    Weeding Your Garden

    There is nothing better for my soul than gardening.  The sun is too bright for me to see the screen of my phone so I keep it inside.  The fresh air kisses my skin.  I get on my knees with my floral printed gloves and pull scraggly weeds from the rich soil around my vegetables and flowers.  I check the leaves on my squash plants, wondering just which critter nibbled that heart-shaped hole through the green fibers.  I pluck a juicy cherry tomato from the vine, rub it against my cotton shorts and pop it into my mouth.  I roll it on my tongue feeling its smooth skin then slide it…

  • blog,  Essay,  Life Lessons

    We Can Bounce

    When people get out of a tragic or toxic situation, they tend to go a little buck wild. I see it often; they are coming out of chaos, out of repression, out of despair-they have broken free from pain, suffering, confusion and limits. Once they breathe their freedom, they expel their conditioning; they purge their doubts, they reject their insecurities and they live with abandon! It looks like they are out of control. Others, on the sidelines, wag fingers like “oh she’s gone wild.”  They judge as if it were a bad thing.  As if her containment were more admirable than her freedom.  As if open, liberated, balls-to-the-wall living were something she should quit.…

  • blog,  Essay,  Mindset

    Joy Loves Company

    We all know misery loves company. When we are in misery we want to feel less isolated and alone. We want to know that someone is there who understands or cares about our suffering. We can’t help it. We are human. Joy loves company too. Why do we praise someone’s joy from a distance, as if our participation in it could take some of the joy away? Joy is unlimited. Our participation in the joy of others increases the joy exponentially. We tend to get caught up in the disappointments and tragedy of life. Everyone remembers the shocking accident or the surprise defeat. But life is just as likely to…