• blog,  Observations OMS,  Women

    Shit Testing. It’s What We Do

    There is not a woman in existence who doesn’t shit test. It’s part of our make up. We are rarely aware, in the midst of a shit test, that we are doing it. It’s organic.  I believe this comes from a woman’s deep need for security.  Due to our natural and biological vulnerabilities we seek protection and security.  Shit tests come out of this chronic insecurity. They serve a purpose for us as we use them to “test the waters” to make sure that what existed before still exists.  More secure women will test their reality, the solidity of the walls, the availability of resources, the protection and comfort of her…

  • Balcony,  blog,  Members Only,  Mindset

    It’s Spring and I’m an Electrical Storm

    I am going to show my broken places while sharing how we can carve a new path of self-reliance without shutting opportunities for love and connection. We need to learn to identify who truly deserves our attachment, trust, commitment and loyalty and then give ourselves freely. Not the other way around. We've been giving ourselves freely to those who don't deserve us and then wondering why we are not appreciated, not valued, not loved and protected.

  • blog,  Mindset,  Observations OMS,  Women

    Women Are Needy and Terrible Listeners

    It’s true.  Women are terrible listeners. I don’t know how we got the reputation for being good listeners because we aren’t. Not even a little.  I guess we are good at all the peripheral signals of listening: eye contact, nodding, sympathetic sighs, touching a hand, asking probing questions. But when it comes down to actually hearing information as it is and then acting on it in an appropriate way, we suck. For example, often when we are dating a guy he will say things like, “You shouldn’t date me, I’m an asshole,” or “I’m not ready for a relationship,” or “I’m not looking for anything serious.” And instead of going,…

  • blog,  Essay,  Feminism,  Mindset

    Fetch A Beer For Me, Will Ya?

    It was a hot summer day. I was enjoying the sun, friends, sand on my toes and a little music.  Just as I was beginning to shut my eyes to rest them from the bright sun and salt water, a man asked me to grab him a beer off the boat.  I got off my seat in the sand and waded out to the boat, climbed in and got that man a beer.  Happily. When I got back, another woman said, “I can’t believe you’d let him treat you like that. Like you’ll just fetch him what he needs.” “I’m happy to,” I said. And I left it at that…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Love is Blind Book

    Are Men Threatened by Intelligent Women?

    According to the study mentioned in the article “Men are threatened by intelligent women” by the Independent; “Men are attracted to the idea of dating intelligent women – but don’t actually like the reality of it.” I myself at one time believed this to be true and I’ve spoken with many women who had this suspicion as well.  In the dating scene, to self-identified intelligent women, it appears true that men prefer dating women who aren’t as smart, who don’t have careers, who aren’t an “equal.” I’ve confronted men with this idea and heard rounds of denial that they love smart women and smart women excite them, but the reality is different.…

  • blog,  Dating Advice,  Love is Blind Book,  Social Conditioning,  Women

    He Doesn’t Want What You Want

    Men and women have undeniable similarities in what they want out of life, love and relationships, but how they find and express these desires is very different.  It is my belief that men and women seek a deeply intimate and passionate relationship with a partner.  We want to be with someone who both challenges and comforts us, who supports and encourages us, and also someone who knows when to rein us in, sit us down and remind us to take a break. When it comes to relationships, communication is one place were we are on different paths.  Not our verbal communication or even our non-verbal communication– where we miss the mark is how we…