• Dating Advice,  Essay

    He Doesn’t Care About Your Personality That Much If You are Attractive

    Your personality, your accomplishments, your beautiful apartment and your fancy degree really don’t matter much if you’re hot. Okay so if you are a giant bitch, attention whore or a whiny, entitled brat he might care–a little. But even then, desire is a powerful thing and he might be able–or imagine he is able– to put all that crap out of his mind long enough to get a chance to fuck you. I mean, we can all tolerate some bad behavior in small doses, right? And if you are really hot, he will just weigh the advantages and disadvantages of putting up with your shit for a few hours so he…

  • Essay,  Women

    Shit Testing. It’s What We Do

    There is not a woman in existence who doesn’t shit test. It’s part of our make up. We are rarely aware, in the midst of a shit test, that we are doing it. It’s organic.  I believe this comes from a woman’s deep need for security.  Due to our natural and biological vulnerabilities we seek protection and security.  Shit tests come out of this chronic insecurity. They serve a purpose for us as we use them to “test the waters” to make sure that what existed before still exists.  More secure women will test their reality, the solidity of the walls, the availability of resources, the protection and comfort of her…

  • Attraction,  Dating Advice,  Essay

    How To Write An Online Dating Profile

    I’ve read a lot of online profiles and most are terrible. Women’s dating profiles read like vacation wish lists. “I like dining out! Theater! Travel! Music! Scuba diving! Adventure! Visa! Discover!” Men’s dating profiles read like testimonials from a self-help book. “I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’m ready to love again and give my whole heart.” Most people use their profile like as sales tool but have no experience in sales and are unfamiliar with the product (themselves) and don’t understand the market. On the flip side, as “customers” too many read a dating profile as absolute truth. Tell a woman that a vitamin will reduce her cholesterol or an…

  • Attraction,  Essay

    Just Because He’s Dating, Doesn’t Mean He’s Available

    You simply can't take anything for granted. Finding a balance so you stay hopeful and optimistic without being naive and where you are cautious but not cynical is very difficult. But it's worth working to find that balance. Without it you will be like a pinball pouncing from date to date, highlight to heartbreak without any idea how to stop the madness and find the balance you want.

  • Essay

    All the Thrills and None of the Bills!

    Eventually, there comes a time when the bills are due in your relationship. The hard stuff, the grown up stuff. The stuff that was taking priority with you and your husband that made you feel neglected and alone. We've all got bills. And even our relationships have to pay the bills.