• blog,  Observations OMS,  Women

    Shit Testing. It’s What We Do

    There is not a woman in existence who doesn’t shit test. It’s part of our make up. We are rarely aware, in the midst of a shit test, that we are doing it. It’s organic.  I believe this comes from a woman’s deep need for security.  Due to our natural and biological vulnerabilities we seek protection and security.  Shit tests come out of this chronic insecurity. They serve a purpose for us as we use them to “test the waters” to make sure that what existed before still exists.  More secure women will test their reality, the solidity of the walls, the availability of resources, the protection and comfort of her…

  • blog,  Essay,  Feminism,  Observations OMS,  Pop Culture

    The Divorce Machine

    Society wants you divorced. The very fabric of our social networks support and encourage divorce and many divorces are socially executed in the same way.  It’s not a pretty story, but it’s a common one.  75% of divorces are initiated by women. And in the majority of these divorces, even if the divorce is initiated for innocuous reasons, the divorce will quickly turn into a machine determined to vilify the husband while clearing the wife of any wrongdoing and making her the victim. This may not even be her intention at the beginning, but as soon as the divorce machine gets started, it’s hard if not impossible to stop the gears. Once…

  • blog,  Observations OMS,  Women

    Women Have a Deep Need for Security

    Women have a great need for security. It is part of our nature to seek security because we are naturally insecure.  On a survival level we have a subconscious awareness of our small size and weaker physical stature and seek protection. While our need for physical protection to compensate for our vulnerabilities that come from being smaller, pregnancy, frailty, etc may be obvious our need for emotional protection is controversial. Our natural instincts are to seek security because we are naturally insecure to a certain extent. This is not to say that we can not feel confident and secure or even that we can’t develop our own sense of security.…

  • blog,  Mindset,  Observations OMS

    Lack of Self Preservation Isn’t A Virtue

    Lack of self preservation is not a virtue. If you put others interests so far ahead of yourself that you become vulnerable or victimized, you end up putting not only yourself, but the community in danger.  Every adult should work to ensure they can stand on their own and not weigh down the group. The elderly, the children, the sick, the injured need protection and support from the community. But if you invite attack, seek self-destruction you are being selfish, cowardly and arrogant. Why do you deserve this special treatment? Why do you get to indulge and then lean on those who used restraint? Putting others first is based on the assumption that…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Observations OMS,  Women

    Science Continues to Study and Misinterpret Women’s Desires

    This article claims that science backs up a woman’s desire for bad boys then implores men to be “nice” anyway. “In the end, the idea that women want to date bad boys really just reinforces the misogynist’s idea of deceitful women and earnest “nice” men baffled by their lack of dating success. It allows some men to blame and hate women as a means of deflecting attention away from their own shortcomings. So, if you’re looking to science for some advice, it’s simple: be nice.” The problem with articles like this is that the oblivious researchers and readers align “badness” with smoking, criminal behavior, deception, cheating and violence. Then they…

  • blog,  Feminism,  Observations OMS,  Pop Culture

    The End of Women

    I get a lot of flack on this blog about my writing about women and female sexuality. I get a lot of angry letters from men who think female sexuality is shameful and evil or should be repressed. I get a lot of angry letters from women who think that my writing about intimacy and vulnerability is counterproductive to showing women as strong and independent. It’s mind-boggling how angry people are about a woman writing about mature, sexual, powerful, healthy women who love men. It’s the new thing to hate, apparently. I’m interested in our human nature, what drives us biologically, emotionally and sexually. The point I try to make in…

  • Header Slider,  Observations OMS,  Women

    How to Stop Feeling Guilty and Start Being A Badass

    I read an article on Elite Daily last week about how women feel guilty 97% of the time. I found this startling since I also personally find that women blame others 97% of the time.  In this modern world, women are angry. They are angry at the patriarchy, at men, at beauty standards, at air conditioning, at the wage gap, at sexuality, at pornography, at slut shaming, at practically everything. This anger is not a feminine trait in my opinion. It is born out of a toxic disconnect with one’s nature and with the reality of daily living. And yet, I can’t say I am completely unfamiliar with this feeling…

  • blog,  Mindset,  Observations OMS,  Women

    Women Are Needy and Terrible Listeners

    It’s true.  Women are terrible listeners. I don’t know how we got the reputation for being good listeners because we aren’t. Not even a little.  I guess we are good at all the peripheral signals of listening: eye contact, nodding, sympathetic sighs, touching a hand, asking probing questions. But when it comes down to actually hearing information as it is and then acting on it in an appropriate way, we suck. For example, often when we are dating a guy he will say things like, “You shouldn’t date me, I’m an asshole,” or “I’m not ready for a relationship,” or “I’m not looking for anything serious.” And instead of going,…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Header Slider,  Love is Blind Book,  Observations OMS,  Social Conditioning

    Men Love Sex, Women Love Attention.

    There’s so much bitterness and resentment currently between the sexes.  Why? Because they simply don’t understand each other.  They want the other to be just like them.  The myth of marrying your best friend and equality and treat him/her how you want to be treated has completely confused the f*ck out of everyone. I’m not saying he can’t be your friend. But he’s not going to be like your girlfriend.  If you want a partner to shop with you and talk to you endlessly about what could or might happen “if” scenarios, then you want a partner who is a woman. He doesn’t want that.  Similarly guys, if you want…

  • blog,  Mindset,  Observations OMS

    Don’t Confuse Indifference Alley with the High Road

    If someone behaves badly and also drinks or takes drugs, there are support groups to help the people deal with their behavior.  They are encouraged not to enable their  behavior which may be outright harmful or subtly harmful and abusive because being mistreated builds up and everyone has a breaking point. If someone has a diagnosed, observable mental illness or  addiction that makes them mean, self-absorbed, causes them to steal or cheat, then they are dealt with and people understand that they are sick.  And again, the people in their lives have support groups and are given guidelines on how to minimize interactions and limit the ways that this person…