• blog,  Essay,  Feminism,  Mindset,  Women

    Your Feminine Body

    This is quite possibly the most important essay on femininity I will ever write.  If you do the things I ask you to do in this post, it will begin to change your life, for the better, immediately. You probably won’t want to do these things. Not because they are hard or complicated, but because you will feel foolish. But I can assure you, the truly foolish will let your ego and pride get in the way of performing these exercises and following the direction of what I ask of you in this post.  The wise will participate. It’s your life. Are you an observer? No. Then read every word…

  • blog,  Humor,  Medium,  Mindset

    Nicknames, You Called Me What?

    Nicknames belie a certain intimacy. They are gifted by someone who knows us or knew us in a way others didn’t. Then this bit of history carries on, sometimes long after the giver is gone. The name spreads to others without the history or the intimacy, giving strangers, acquaintances, new friends the impression they know you better than they do. Or that they know something about you that you didn’t share yourself. Do we choose our nicknames or do our nicknames choose us? Do our nicknames become us, or do we become our nicknames? At the same time, they can create distance and confusion as people struggle with what to…

  • blog,  Mindset

    Living The Dream

    We were talking about the trap. We were talking about the world, society, life, passion, dreams. Easy conversations for us. Topical subject because of the stress I’ve been feeling. We were slowing things down, in conversation by talking about big, intangible things and ides. We were talking about living the dream. We all have a different dream. We all want to live it. Almost none of us are living ours. He’s living the dream, he tells me. He means it. But it sounds funny to hear it. He doesn’t have a jet or a boat or a mansion. In fact, it’s not even that he doesn’t have the luxuries, but…

  • blog,  Humor,  Mindset,  On Writing

    What I Hate About My Readers

    The one thing I can’t stand about my readers is that you assume everything I write is autobiographical. Maybe not ALL my readers, but the ones who talk to me assume this. And honestly, the rest of you who don’t talk to me probably assume it too but just don’t say anything, so I take it back. This is what I hate about ALL my readers. I hate it. It drives me up the wall. It makes me crazy. And this is why: First Of All When you come to me and ask me if something is about me, you are never really asking. You think you already know the…

  • blog,  Mindset

    The Trap

    I had a hell of a week. Actually, I’ve had a hell of a few weeks. To be honest, the past few years haven’t been great. Things culminate. This has happened a few times over the past few years. No need for details but hey, I’m resilient? This last week was one of those boiling points of stress. I felt pulled in many directions. I had very little alone time. People wanted me to attend things with them, chat with them, listen to them. Work was intense, to say the least. I’ve been feeling very run down. The good habits that I have every intention to implement are still just…

  • blog,  Essay,  Life Lessons,  Mindset

    It’s Not My Problem (Or Yours)

    Your time and energy are two of the most important things you have. Especially if you are a busy person reaching for your goals. There are many things that can drain you: a bad job, bad relationship, illness, etc. These things you have to deal with on some level. Even good things in your life can take time from other priorities. It is worth it, but you have to be mindful of how you are investing your time and energy. But there are many ways people expend energy that are a complete waste of time. Social media is an easy example, but it’s not just scrolling through timelines, many interactions…

  • blog,  Mindset

    Broken is Better

    I’ve made no secret of my disdain for the “give no f*cks” movement. I understand the premise of not needlessly getting your panties in a bunch over non-issues. It is certainly a valid counterpoint to the perpetually offended, meddling, pearl clutching crowd.  But just as that crowd has gone too far in their self-righteous virtue signalling, the give no f*cks crowd is just as out of touch and smug in their practiced indifference. When your goal is to give no f*cks and have no feelings,  you are limiting your ability to be affected by the world around you in a desire to stay protected. You are limiting the impact the world…

  • blog,  Mindset,  Observations on my Species Book

    Lack of Self Preservation Isn’t A Virtue

    Lack of self preservation is not a virtue. If you put others interests so far ahead of yourself that you become vulnerable or victimized, you end up putting not only yourself, but the community in danger.  Every adult should work to ensure they can stand on their own and not weigh down the group. The elderly, the children, the sick, the injured need protection and support from the community. But if you invite attack, seek self-destruction you are being selfish, cowardly and arrogant. Why do you deserve this special treatment? Why do you get to indulge and then lean on those who used restraint? Putting others first is based on the assumption that…

  • blog,  Mindset

    Just Get Started

    When I was a kid one of my mother’s friends lost her husband to a heart attack. She had young kids, younger than my brother and myself, no job, and was suddenly alone.  When tragedy or illness strikes and you are a parent, you do not have the luxury to sink into depression, to grieve in bed for days crying. You have to feed your children. You have to take care of their emotional needs.  You come last, if ever, on the list of things to take care of. This is how it is. I was with my mom visiting the woman a couple years after the death. She had…

  • Essay,  Mindset

    Fail Big or Shut Up

    I was born lucky. Maybe I was born privileged. Maybe I’m blessed.  I like to think I am charmed. Whatever words I use to describe this situation, the truth is that I believe that I have benefited from an abundance of good things that I did not have to work to receive.  I’ve been very, very lucky. And while I have also faced some very bad things, those were never luck. I don’t think so. The very bad things I’ve experienced have always been a result of either very bad decisions on my part or a series of kind of bad decisions on my part.  I’ve been an agent in my own…