• Essay,  Mindset

    Lack of Self Preservation Isn’t A Virtue

    Lack of self preservation is not a virtue. If you put others interests so far ahead of yourself that you become vulnerable or victimized, you end up putting not only yourself, but the community in danger.  Every adult should work to ensure they can stand on their own and not weigh down the group. The elderly, the children, the sick, the injured need protection and support from the community. But if you invite attack, seek self-destruction you are being selfish, cowardly and arrogant. Why do you deserve this special treatment? Why do you get to indulge and then lean on those who used restraint? Putting others first is based on the assumption that…

  • Essay,  Journal,  Life Lessons,  Mindset

    It’s Spring and I’m an Electrical Storm

    I am going to show my broken places while sharing how we can carve a new path of self-reliance without shutting opportunities for love and connection. We need to learn to identify who truly deserves our attachment, trust, commitment and loyalty and then give ourselves freely. Not the other way around. We've been giving ourselves freely to those who don't deserve us and then wondering why we are not appreciated, not valued, not loved and protected.

  • Essay,  Mindset

    Insults Don’t Matter and Neither Does Flattery

    You Can Walk Through Glass If you woke up one day and found out that something that has the capacity to cause great injury had no effect on you, how would you react? If you realized that, for instance, you could walk through glass without a single scratch, much less the bloody lacerations that would have once torn through your flesh or that tear through the flesh of others, what would you do with that super power?  When you have a no bullsh!t mindset, you can walk through glass without injury. Some would call this being practical, or no nonsense. It’s down-to-earth and fact based.  To many, it’s the red pill. Reality…

  • Attraction,  Essay,  Mindset,  Women

    Ladies, Embrace Your Sexuality Damn it!

    Ladies, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend recently of men knowing women’s bodies better than women do. Women are not taking charge of their own sexuality. For all the talk about empowerment and abandoning shame, it seems that female sexual desire is still misunderstood at best and at worst denied and repressed. Our mothers shepherded society through the sexual revolution giving us more control of our bodies and our sex lives.  I love that we are able to talk about sex more openly and I love that so many of you are enjoying it and feeling as if you have a right to do it whenever and with whoever you want.  You…

  • Essay,  Life Lessons,  Mindset,  Women

    Women Are Needy and Terrible Listeners

    It’s true.  Women are terrible listeners. I don’t know how we got the reputation for being good listeners because we aren’t. Not even a little.  I guess we are good at all the peripheral signals of listening: eye contact, nodding, sympathetic sighs, touching a hand, asking probing questions. But when it comes down to actually hearing information as it is and then acting on it in an appropriate way, we suck. For example, often when we are dating a guy he will say things like, “You shouldn’t date me, I’m an asshole,” or “I’m not ready for a relationship,” or “I’m not looking for anything serious.” And instead of going,…

  • Essay,  Feminism,  Journal,  Mindset

    Fetch A Beer For Me, Will Ya?

    It was a hot summer day. I was enjoying the sun, friends, sand on my toes and a little music.  Just as I was beginning to shut my eyes to rest them from the bright sun and salt water, a man asked me to grab him a beer off the boat.  I got off my seat in the sand and waded out to the boat, climbed in and got that man a beer.  Happily. When I got back, another woman said, “I can’t believe you’d let him treat you like that. Like you’ll just fetch him what he needs.” “I’m happy to,” I said. And I left it at that…

  • Essay,  Mindset

    Weeding Your Garden

    There is nothing better for my soul than gardening.  The sun is too bright for me to see the screen of my phone so I keep it inside.  The fresh air kisses my skin.  I get on my knees with my floral printed gloves and pull scraggly weeds from the rich soil around my vegetables and flowers.  I check the leaves on my squash plants, wondering just which critter nibbled that heart-shaped hole through the green fibers.  I pluck a juicy cherry tomato from the vine, rub it against my cotton shorts and pop it into my mouth.  I roll it on my tongue feeling its smooth skin then slide it…

  • Essay,  Mindset,  Women

    How To Stay Soft Through Hard Times

    Ladies, One of your most alluring and valuable traits is your softness.  You may not always appreciate these traits in yourself and they may not always serve you, but they are beautiful and should be cherished and protected.  We need more softness in this world and women are the bearers of the softest joys. The way you can see both sides of an issue. They way you root for the underdog. The way you concede to end conflicts. The way your heart aches for the needy and less fortunate.  The way you desire to heal and care for others.  Yes, even the way you cry when you feel so much…