• blog,  Mindset

    Stress is a Choice

    I went to college on the other side of the country from where I lived. It was a nine hour trip, with two layovers, not including travel to and from the airport. I went alone, sight unseen other than the catalog. I had an independent spirit then, just as I do now. I don’t remember the trip being hard, I remember it being exciting. But I do remember being worried that the cab driver who brought me from the airport to campus would take me to the wrong college and I wouldn’t realize because I’d never visited. Everything turned out fine. I got dropped off at the correct college, found…

  • blog,  Life Lessons,  Mindset

    How I Maximized My Creative Potential with a Ketogenic Diet

    If you pay any attention to health and diet circles you have likely heard of the Ketogenic diet by now.  Keto is a high fat, high protein, low carb diet designed to switch you metabolism to work in a state of ketosis burning fats instead of sugars for fuel. My metabolism has slowed down in recent years and with it, my energy levels have decreased. I am a very busy person and just don’t have time for low energy, so I’d been looking for ways to address this when I heard about the Ketogenic diet. I had been hearing about it for over a year but it wasn’t until a…

  • blog,  Life Lessons,  Mindset

    Off Grid August

    When I was in my twenties, I went on a four-month trip through Europe on a EuroRail ticket. This was before cell phones. I bought by the minute phone cards in each country I visited so that I could call home once or twice a week. Except for the moments when I was on the phone, no one knew where I was. I could be in Paris one day and Rome the next. If I went missing, no one would know what country to start searching to find me. This was both scary and thrilling, but mostly thrilling. Now that I am older, being completely unavailable is not thrilling. In fact,…

  • Attraction,  Medium,  Mindset,  Pop Culture

    The Power of Erotic Imagination and the Conditioning Effects of Porn

    Many articles will debate the moral issues related to porn. Morality is personal and I don’t want to impose my morality on you any more than I want you to impose yours on me. This article is about how porn interferes with your personal power, infringes on your self-mastery and ultimately has the power to derail your life by conditioning you to want something you don’t really want and dulling your desires through easy satisfaction.  Self-Mastery is True Power “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” Lau Tzu We know that these things are important and that achieving them is…

  • Essay,  Mindset

    If You Need to Cry, Cry When You Get to the Top

    A reader recently asked me, “How do you approach life so confidently?” I have been asked this more than once and decided this topic deserved to be answered in an essay. We all build our confidence in different ways. I don’t often share personal stories as I consider myself to be more of an observer and I am less interested in myself than in others, but this demanded a personal answer, so here is my story. Represent Yourself or Others Will Misrepresent You When I was a teen, I was a lot like I am now: outspoken, curious, passionate, and creative. I read as much as I could get my…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Love is Blind Book,  Mindset,  Thoughts on Women Book

    You Don’t Have To Like Everyone

    We all want to be good people. We want to treat others well and be treated well. We want to be optimistic, tolerant, generous, honorable, agreeable and kind and many other virtues that we would use to describe someone we would admire very much. We want this because it is right, but also because the pain of being rejected because we don’t have these traits is real. We want people to like us. To be liked, we try to follow the golden rule and treat others how we would want to be treated — with patience, tolerance and love. This is how we open ourselves up to abuse. This is how we…

  • blog,  Medium,  Mindset,  Pop Culture

    Why Kanye West and John Legend’s Friendship is the Best Thing in the World Right Now

    Last week Kanye West blew up Twitter with a series of tweets on creativity, individuality, openness, community and free thought. He’s been silent on Twitter for years but with over 30 million followers, a tweetstorm gets noticed.                 There was nothing controversial about his tweets. In fact, we were all loving them — and Kanye! — and seeing ourselves in his tweets about creativity, individuality, optimism and love. Until we weren’t. Right when Kanye had everyone’s full attention, and our guard was down he dropped a tweet bomb. West Tweeted about Candace Owens, a right-leaning, Trump supporting firebrand personality who is critical of…

  • blog,  Essay,  Mindset

    Roll With It

    Did you ever hear that if a drunk person falls down the stairs he or she will sustain far fewer injuries than a sober person?  The reason is that the drunk person is relaxed and therefore more flexible. The sober person, anticipating the fall, will brace him or herself for the fall. She will stiffen and tense up.  As a result, she will tear tight muscles, break bones, and be far more hurt by the fall than the drunk person. I’m not advocating drunkenness. Easy as that may sound as a solution, we all know the other drawbacks.  I am advocating for you to chill the fuck out.  Relax. Loosen…

  • blog,  Mindset

    What If I Never Break The Crystal?

    I was trying to get rid of stuff. STUFF. The Stuff that creeps into the house and takes hold in drawers and corners and on countertops. It hangs in closets and is tossed up on shelves out of reach but it’s not out — OUT — like it should be. It is just out of the way, out of reach, but it is still there. Still everywhere. Clutter. I have a lot of stuff. I’ve lived in my house for twelve years. I’ve raised kids from infants to preteens and have accumulated the stuff of each age: clothes in various sizes and seasons; toys they won’t choke on, toys they…

  • Attraction,  blog,  Essay,  Mindset

    Desire is Life

    Desire gives our lives meaning and purpose. Wanting something, or someone, gives our life the spark and push we need to work through the hard parts, wake up in the morning, get excited. Desire is the ignition for everything we care about. We may think having all our needs and desires met at the snap of our fingers would make us happy and fulfilled but the truth is it would make you bored and miserable. We would have to find something new to strive for. We would desire a new desire. Too often we think that achieving our goal is what gives us satisfaction. In fact we take the most…