I’ve made no secret of my disdain for the “give no f*cks” movement. I understand the premise of not needlessly getting your panties in a bunch over non-issues. It is certainly a valid counterpoint to the perpetually offended, meddling, pearl clutching crowd. But just as that crowd has gone too far in their self-righteous virtue signalling, the give no f*cks crowd is just as out of touch and smug in their practiced indifference.
When your goal is to give no f*cks and have no feelings, you are limiting your ability to be affected by the world around you in a desire to stay protected. You are limiting the impact the world will have on you because of fear. In doing that you are also, as a consequence, limiting the impact you will have on the world.
It is our brokenness that helps us truly love and connect. We don’t really need anyone if all our edges are solid. If we are completely in tact, there’s no where for our love and our strength and our hopes to pour out. And there’s no where to let each other in.
We break apart and we are put together again in patches. What would happen if we decided to live without fear of love and connection? If we could rip off the emotional scabs and trust without any guarantees? After all, there are no guarantees, we just want to believe there are when we make promises. But we aren’t in enough control of the world and uncertainty to even be in a position to make a promise. Who are we to think we will know what could happen that will break our promise? We can only do our best. We can only try. We can only make the effort and hope. We can’t guarantee.
It seems the modern dating scene is built around not wanting anything or needing anyone. We hold it as some prize that we have no f*cks to give and don’t trust anyone and don’t care. The claim is that this is a fearless lifestyle. But a fearless lifestyle is not one where you have no fears because you never expose yourself to risk. That’s a fearful, protected, limited lifestyle. Fearless are the ones who love hard and fast and trust easily. They are most at risk in an environment where they are only finding others who are closed off and emotionally risk averse.
What would it be like to take a chance, be vulnerable, have hope? What would it be like to love fearlessly to let the light in, connect and love?