blog,  Mindset

Broken is Better

I’ve made no secret of my disdain for the “give no f*cks” movement. I understand the premise of not needlessly getting your panties in a bunch over non-issues. It is certainly a valid counterpoint to the perpetually offended, meddling, pearl clutching crowd.  But just as that crowd has gone too far in their self-righteous virtue signalling, the give no f*cks crowd is just as out of touch and smug in their practiced indifference.

When your goal is to give no f*cks and have no feelings,  you are limiting your ability to be affected by the world around you in a desire to stay protected. You are limiting the impact the world will have on you because of fear.  In doing that you are also, as a consequence, limiting the impact you will have on the world.

It is our brokenness that helps us truly love and connect.  We don’t really need anyone if all our edges are solid.  If we are completely in tact, there’s no where for our love and our strength and our hopes to pour out.  And there’s no where to let each other in.

We break apart and we are put together again in patches. What would happen if we decided to live without fear of love and connection? If we could rip off the emotional scabs and trust without any guarantees? After all, there are no guarantees, we just want to believe there are when we make promises. But we aren’t in enough control of the world and uncertainty to even be in a position to make a promise. Who are we to think we will know what could happen that will break our promise? We can only do our best. We can only try.  We can only make the effort and hope. We can’t guarantee.

It seems the modern dating scene is built around not wanting anything or needing anyone.  We hold it as some prize that we have no f*cks to give and don’t trust anyone and don’t care.  The claim is that this is a fearless lifestyle. But a fearless lifestyle is not one where you have no fears because you never expose yourself to risk. That’s a fearful, protected, limited lifestyle.  Fearless are the ones who love hard and fast and trust easily.  They are most at risk in an environment where they are only finding others who are closed off and emotionally risk averse.

What would it be like to take a chance, be vulnerable, have hope? What would it be like to love fearlessly to let the light in, connect and love?


  • Adventure and Business

    I think once broken you can only love so deep after. Love scars forever too. I don’t think people fully recover from their experiences so in future loves there’s always background noise from previous.

      • Adventure and Business

        It does write poems though

        She turned and looked at me. I fell. When I crashed I began to recover from the lost. Never again will I regain my heart completely. Some loves scar too deep to ever heal.
        To the next loves, give me understanding. That I will never be as close to you as you desire.
        Innocence lost, a hear broken, can never be fully healed.

  • racefortheoasis

    The greatest rewards are born out of the greatest risks. It’s in the DNA of what America has always been about. Nice job. And, by the way, I agree with Scott Adams – you have one of the most persuasive names/brands I can think of.

  • Stacey Loring

    I don’t give a fuck anymore because I cared to much when I was younger. All that did was make me worry about not only my family but strangers as well. Would any of these strangers care or worry about me? Nope, they’d be too busy judging and stabbing me in the back. This chick got no time for that.

  • The Daytime Renegade

    This movement always struck me as the lashing out of petulant adolescents who really DO care but want the world to think they don’t, because earnestness is lame. It’s very Gen-X.

    Everybody, save for true sociopaths, cares. Saying you don’t is a lie.

    Whether or not this caring bothers you is another story.

    • Kitten Holiday

      Yes exactly. And I think people are changing themselves into sociopaths, maybe not legit sociopaths but they are adopting sociopathic behavior to “protect themselves from harm” but at the expense of others. With as much as we know about how our thinking can change our chemistry and truly change us, I believe that “practicing indifference” is very harmful. I’d say it’s as harmful as reckless abandon except the intention of reckless abandon is to hurt the self while practiced indifference hurts others (no one goes unharmed with either, it’s the ecosystem of relationships and community that we are all affected somehow)

      • The Daytime Renegade

        Good point. Caring is what makes us human, and not caring, or practiced indifference as you put it, the opposite of that, with everything that that implies.

        It’s easy to be seduced by this mindset as a confused, inexperienced adolescent. Adults should know better.

        That sounds mean, but that’s how I see it.

      • Dee

        Sociopaths yes. it is such a mess. The women are terrible the ones I have known anyway it has become that I don’t bother at all. If I write a message it is one line no point writing more because they never write back anyway. why bother writing a long heartfelt message when you have no idea it is even read. trying to meet women you just give up affter 20 years of being treated ike shit. The only hope i think is really eco people totally detached from the system. Not the semi detached hippies but someone who really wants to leave it all behind and live in nature. The city chicks are essentially a waste of time. Even the nice ones still have a bunch of friends, magazines, their hairdresser whatever they are all conspiring against you to take her away from you and get her with a more reliable lawyer or bank manager. Only really awake women are going to be anything but bad for me and how terrible it is to love these people that are sociopathic and going on with it as if everything is alright the worst is the ones they have children and think it is all going to be ok when really they are screwing their kids so bad. I was the best of the bunch really but instead of helping me all they did was hurt me and try to destroy me. it is not intentional obviously but the whole thing is set up to wear people down only the people who succeed are successful and they are the biggest psycos. it is so sick people a rewarding the worst people and destroying the best it is so obvious yet so few are doing anything really and women just became a snare to keep men in the system. no only a nature woman will do there is no point in city gals. the nicer they are the bigger the trap.

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