Go Forth: A Journey South by Goldmund is a quick and dirty book about his travels to Oaxaca Mexico to “see the beautiful sights and enjoy the beautiful women.” His trip, and the book, do not disappoint as he achieves both. Goldmund’s narrative style is simple and straightforward with impeccable timing when highlighting the irony in female behavior. His style has an easy-going pace that keeps the story flowing and the imagination on fire. I couldn’t help but think, many times, that Goldmund’s style as a writer perfectly reflects his style as a player and the similar traits have the same effect on the reader as on the beautiful women he seduces. He balances attention with disappearing when attracting women like he balances detail and absence in his writing. He gives enough information to get the imagination going so the reader is as caught up in the moment, participating in its development as the woman is in her own seduction.
Before going to Mexico, Goldmund makes a stop in New Orleans where his eye for noticing female behavior is revealed in hilarious moments. Goldmund lacks the resentment and anger that many men who study seduction and the study of female behavior. While he notices the irony in how women portray themselves with how they behave he is amused and not incensed by it. He isn’t angered when a woman tells him the best way for a man to seduce a woman is for a man to “stay classy” and less than two hours later he is ejaculating all over her hand in a public place. He has accepts both the sexual nature of women and disparity between presentation and reality for social graces. A woman’s sexuality is a deeply personal and private thing, shrouded in a combination of mystery, deceptions, social rules, moral pressures and interpersonal hurdles. If it were easy to untangle the tangled knots that keep the prized honey pot of lust out of reach, it wouldn’t be so much fun or so exciting to succeed. Goldmund has fun and is excited by each prize. I would imagine his amused attitude contributes greatly to his success with women.
His acceptance of the quirks and flaws in the female nature allow him to enjoy the women he meets for who they are instead of holding them against some generic ideal. He enjoys some for their beauty, some as a challenge, some for how they contrast other women but he is always focused on the positive that attracts him to want to know them in a deeper way.
While this book is a travel book, it is also a game and pick up narrative. As such, I don’t want to review the book for it’s literary strengths other than to say it was a great story and I stayed up late to finish it in one day which should be all the recommendation you need. I am going to write about Goldmund’s sexual strategies and why, in my opinion, he is so successful in this book in seducing women.
Goldmund does many things in this book specifically designed to increase his appeal, boost his mindset and engage the minds of beautiful women so he can enjoy their bodies, but there are four things he does that I want to point out.
Make Her Feel A Part of Something Special
Women love to feel special. We love to feel one of a kind. In a relationship a man achieves this by noticing our quirks, doing things for us that makes us feel special, giving his attention and treating us in a way that stands out from how he treats all others. In a short term situation, outside of the initial complement on her beauty, a man can’t make her feel special without coming across too strong, being supplicating or appearing totally insincere. How would you know what makes her special, you barely know her!
Instead of making “her special,” Goldmund makes her “part of something special.”
He does this in simple actions like leading them from one place to another with the authority he is taking them to something more fun, better, more exciting than where they were.
He does this verbally by telling declaring that something special is happening. On page 25 he pulls one girl away from her safety net of friends with both her and their enthusiasm when he proclaims “We have a special thing going on right now.” Not only does the girl want to believe in the “magic of the moment” in serendipity and probably the “timing of soul mates and romance and all that garbage” but the friend also wants to believe that something special is happening and by granting her friend freedom from obligation to her friends, she is also part of the magic.
Third, he does this by association when he has established a reputation for himself locally and has a special allure about him for his American Playboy status. Women are not great at assessing the character or status of a man especially if her judgment is clouded by attraction. A man who is given respect or social approval by other men has more status with women and is put in a position of trust and authority, whether it is deserved or not.
Let The Women Seduce Themselves
On page 67, Goldmund leaves the two women he’s talking to “at the peak of the conversation.” He does this to test if they will find him again after a while. The assumption is that if they are not pulled away by the next man to come along they have high interest. Additionally, if they follow his command to wait for him while attends to something else, it suggests they are responsive to his direction, another “tell” that they are sexually attracted and open to something more.
But this also serves another purpose. Women’s sexuality is mostly in the head. By leaving an absence in the conversation and leaving her physical presence, it gives her time to think about him, to imagine and to participate in creating the fantasy that she wants to participate in. Being pulled away to other things makes Goldmund seem important. It gives the girls a chance to build up the excitement with each other or build up the fantasy of the night on their own. If Goldmund is constantly persuading the women to take it to the next level he could come off as pushy or too intense, but leaving the women to themselves to miss him, and to convince them why it’s okay for them to want more makes him seem elusive and mysterious. The women seduce themselves. They talk themselves or each other into the adventure.
As an aside, this is also has great narrative use in writing. Goldmund does not detail every last thing that happens as if he’s narrating a documentary, as many writers do. He skips the boring stuff without any apology or explanation and takes us to the next moment of action that propels the story forward. But we are aware that things happen in those spaces and can’t help but wonder how she got home, what the morning was like, if they exchanged information, if there was any intimate pillow talk. We fill this in, if we want to, with our own imaginations and become part of the development of this story. We are part of something special, this book, this story, as readers. And what a joy. It is what readers love!
Get Women Out of Their Heads and Into Their Bodies
Goldmund spins girls. Granted he spends a lot of time dancing but even in dancing it’s not common for a man to spin a woman if he’s only thinking of grinding and watching. He spins them both off and on the dance floor. Spinning gets the girls out of their heads and into their bodies. Getting into our bodies relaxes us. We are prone to overthinking and over analyzing and worrying but if our bodies feel good and relaxed, our minds will follow. Spinning gives us a sense of elation.
If you don’t dance or don’t feel comfortable spinning a woman to give her a feeling of elation and glee, consider dipping her. The lightheaded feeling from being dipped gets us more in our bodies. It takes us out of the analyzing frame and into what our bodies feel like. It is no coincidence that some of the hottest and most epic photographs of kissing are those where the woman is swept back into a glorious dip.
The dip has other aspects that in some ways make it the pinnacle of “out-of-body” seduction, but I’ll save that for another post.
One of the simplest pieces of advice for any man attempting to bridge the gap between awkwardness and intimacy is to tell him to remember how he behaved (his physical interactions, his jokes, his demeanor, his attitude) when he was happily with his last girlfriend and behave that way with his new date. The way you touched her without hesitation, the way you stood closer to her, the way you took what you wanted (a kiss, a grab of the ass) for both your and her delight without fear. Do that. If you behave the way you did when you were in a happy relationship, you will make her feel that way with you, you will remind her of how she felt when she was in a happy relationship. You will both relax because those physical actions are reminiscent of happy, intimate memories. (Of course you can’t do this with a stranger. I’m talking about when you are early dating, attraction is established but you are working through nerves and hesitations.)
Goldmund never says “I leaned in to kiss her.” He is always “pulling her in.” It’s a physical action that assumes intimacy or attraction. He assumes on some level (his mindset) that she wants the kiss and is tortured that she has not received it. So pulling her in to kiss her relieves her of her waiting. Being pulled in, she is mentally pulled back to every other time she’s been pulled in by the waist and kissed. We are never pulled in for anything but kisses. So the action in itself will make us respond expecting a kiss, wanting a kiss, open-mouthed and ready for a kiss. It’s like having a ball thrown our way. Even if we aren’t playing catch, we will still reach up to catch it. And if we catch it, that’s great! Catching a ball feels great and we might even want to join the game now.
The book was very enjoyable to read. It is hard to imagine Goldmund being “bad with women” as he describes himself being at one time. Having met him in person in New York City for the Gorilla Mindset Conference, I can confirm he is dynamic and charismatic. He maximizes on his most attractive features and is master at creating a moment. Most appealing is his love for life, women and adventure. We all want to be around positive energy and he has found a way to make his positive energy sexually charged. There is certainly more to write about this book but, like Goldmund, I don’t want to offer too much. If your curiosity is piqued, I encourage you to buy and read his book Go Forth and follow his blog and instagram account.