I get a lot of flack on this blog about my writing about women and female sexuality. I get a lot of angry letters from men who think female sexuality is shameful and evil or should be repressed. I get a lot of angry letters from women who think that my writing about intimacy and vulnerability is counterproductive to showing women as strong and independent.
It’s mind-boggling how angry people are about a woman writing about mature, sexual, powerful, healthy women who love men. It’s the new thing to hate, apparently.
I’m interested in our human nature, what drives us biologically, emotionally and sexually. The point I try to make in my writing is that the way the laws and society are right now is in conflict with our true nature. Women want to be desired and pursued. We also want to be protected.
None of that is happening with feminism.
Modern feminism is trying to reverse the roles with women making all the rules, setting the tone and controlling the environment both sexual and political.
Women deny the protection of loving, caring men while trying to be “strong and independent” and as a result they’ve turned to the government and legal system for protection. They’ve demonized masculinity by redefining dominance, strength, power and leadership as predatory qualities.
There is a push for women to not take responsibility for their behavior in the moment (victim culture) but use these resources to settle the score later. Or use govt. and the law as bullies to fulfill their agendas, provide protection, provide resources and cater to their wants.
But we are seeing now that these protections are paper-thin because while women now have almost everything they ever wanted, we are anxious, depressed, struggle with mental illness and more dissatisfied and unhappy than we have ever been!
Our nature is at odds with society because the tables have turned and men, in their desire to please women, have allowed them to control the agenda. It has backfired.
I’m sure I’ll get called out on this but there is a lot of truth to the fact that women don’t really know what we want. We say we want one thing and we think we want one thing because we have an idea of what it’s like and it’s exciting, but when we get it we are miserable. We think we want to be in charge because it looks great and excites us when we see someone else being in charge and in control of everything, but when most of us are actually put in that position, we get anxious and handle it badly. We see this happen all the time. And by this I’m not saying women are inferior or that no women can lead. I think a lot of women are wonderful. And in a truly nurturing, supportive, empowering environment we can achieve and accomplish amazing things. But we aren’t in that environment. We are in an environment that caters to whims, coddles us emotionally and doesn’t hold us accountable.
If we celebrate the true strengths and talents of women instead of pushing women to compete to do what the boys do we would be a lot happier and more fulfilled. We would be less anxious. We’d be complementing the nature of men while expressing our feminine nature.
This is the reason why I see feminists as the true misogynists. They are the ones who discredit and reject feminine qualities, female strengths. They are the ones who applaud when a woman succeeds on a man’s terms but shames and degrades women who succeed on her own terms. They want women to embrace casual sex, aggressive competition, and reject beauty, grace and traditional relationships. They will demean and insult women who want to embrace their feminine nature, who take comfort in the love of a man, who desire to please and commit to a man and who embrace feminine charm as a source of strength over aggression and intimidation.
Now, the traditional idea of woman itself is under attack–favoring masculine qualities at one end of the spectrum and childlike qualities at the other while rejecting the strengths of mature feminine women. The woman: being a woman, loving like a woman, hurting like a woman, giving and caring like a woman, having an active sexual appetite for a man, desiring protection and security… these are the qualities under feminism will destroy just as soon as they’ve completed their destruction of the masculine male. And of course, we can see, it’s already starting.
Kitten, this is one of the best articles I have read. This is absolutely true. Everything you said is spot on. Thank you for writing what needed to be said.
Some good points made. I’ve concluded that feminism is not only misogynist but misandrist (man-hating) as well. They hate anyone who doesn’t exhibit their particular dysfunction, be they female or male. The distortion of actual, biology-driven gender roles they’ve wrought is endangering the future of many generations to come.
I’m probably not the intended audience for this post, but you make a powerful–and disturbing–point.
Things have never been “perfect” between the sexes, and changes in society have dictated changes in man-woman relations throughout history. But we’ve never been at each other’s throats quite like this, nor have men been so encouraged to discard masculinity and women to discard femininity. We’re being told that our natural inclinations, the ones that have helped build civilization, are wrong, and not only that, evil.
Why? Who would do this? I contend it’s the same as those poisoning race relations: There’s a power grab going on behind our backs and over our heads that we need to be distracted from. Thank God people like you are here to puncture the veil and dispense some truth and wisdom.
I feel so strongly about this because I have a four-year-old son. I remember how things started going wonky when I was in grade and high school in the 80s and 90s and college from 2000 to 2004. I got out right when things started to go truly bonkers. My boy is going to be in the middle of things.
Let’s just say that, over the past few years, I’ve been wife has been coming around to my beliefs about homeschooling.
Keep it up, keep writing. You’ve got a new reader here.
Gender is being redefined. Stay tuned.
Great read, and spot on as well from my point of view too. Props for putting it out there like it is. I find it interesting that you get so much hate out of folks, when they are making your point for you.
Rock on Kitten.
Thank you!! Well people’s behavior is a bigger indicator of their intentions and thoughts than what they say! A lot of people claim to be open minded but they really aren’t!
https://kittenholiday.com/2014/04/convention/
Yep! Glad you enjoyed it!
I’m not sure who my target audience is. I write the thinks I want to say and feel that those who want to read it, have their thinking challenged, or who agree but enjoy the way I put it into words will keep coming back. For the rest there are other blogs!
I agree with your comments. And, like you, I think raising children and seeing what challenges they are facing has inspired me to want to counteract these new social pressures and offer an alternative voice.
Your definition of feminism is not mine. I see the issue as equal rights, equal pay and all that goes along with that. Misogyny and man-hating has nothing to do with feminism. Also, I don’t see the world in gender-specific terms.
Unfortunately, misogyny and man hating IS the way of things. You only have to go to twitter and you’ll be inundated by man hating feminists that are calling for the end of men altogether. It’s quite disturbing actually and I’ve written about it myself several times.
Equal rights and equal pay, definitely, if a woman CAN do the same job as a man, she should be paid the same. I always like to ask women to change four tires at the same speed as a man, she can’t…. so why the equal pay?
Great article love. I couldn’t agree more. What a sad world we live in. I could go on and on with the same story. Technology is also destroying all of us. Nothing is sacred anymore. You have the world at your finger tips.
Well good. Keep writing what you do. It’s interesting and thought-provoking, which is what we all crave.
behavior. This also applies to human beings. Those in charge used pyscology to have men love each other to fight harder, animals beaten to stay even when the gate is open & to fight & be totally agressive at all times. Guess what, people were using lead aquaducts for water causing mental illness & all the bad; was it a mistake? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDRPtg0kmJU Thanks for allowing me to comment & share… If your in a relationship, I hope you live it to the extreme & find every reason to trust & never become board. This book is for you, I’m on pg 230… http://www.pobronson.com/index_why_do_i_love_these_people.htm
Holy shit. You’ve articulated pretty much what I’ve thought about feminism since I was like 12. I’ve always hated the fact that feminist consider the ideal woman to essentially be a man with boobs. I hate the fact that things women are good at are just dismissed as being soft and not worthy. Like there must be more female nurses then male ones and that’s because of women’s nurturing nature but nobody wants to appreciate that or think of that as valuable contribution to society.
Love this article. Great points! And very well written. Your communicate your points well even if someone didn’t agree they’d struggle to dispute what you’ve written here. Bravo!
Whatever “feminism” is, or if it is as you defined it, then it’s clearly wrong. There are gender roles, but that’s irrelevant from the fact that men and women are not sexually different, emotionally or physically. Differences vary among individuals.