blog,  Essay,  Feminism,  Mindset

Fetch A Beer For Me, Will Ya?

It was a hot summer day. I was enjoying the sun, friends, sand on my toes and a little music.  Just as I was beginning to shut my eyes to rest them from the bright sun and salt water, a man asked me to grab him a beer off the boat.  I got off my seat in the sand and waded out to the boat, climbed in and got that man a beer.  Happily.

When I got back, another woman said, “I can’t believe you’d let him treat you like that. Like you’ll just fetch him what he needs.”

“I’m happy to,” I said. And I left it at that because I wanted to sit down and enjoy the rest of my day on that beach. But if I had the energy to explain a thing or two to this woman I would have said;

When the boogie man or the bad guys come, it is the men who lurch forward into danger, without thinking, to attack, destroy the enemy while we take cover.

When money is tight, it’s the men who work their fingers to the bone doing the hard, back breaking work while we stay relatively safe and clean inside doing the kinds of jobs that can be so fulfilling people turn them into hobbies and passions: cooking, organizing, raising children.

When the shit that always breaks eventually breaks, it is a man who will will fix it, sweating and sore, in tight places on the hard ground while I fix a little something to eat, tidy up, rest my feet.

And so if, on a sunny holiday at the end of summer, I accept an invitation to ride on a boat that I didn’t pay for, didn’t dock, didn’t drive, didn’t fuel and didn’t anchor out to an island where my kids and I are enjoying the sun, relaxation, great food, games and great company, and a man, or a woman for that matter,  asks me to get him a beer, yes ma’am I will jump out of my seat to grab him a beer and I will do more than that! And happily!

Sure I am just as capable of doing many of these things if I wanted to but I don’t want to. I am a gracious guest and happy to be included and thankful for the things that others do for me. So when a man asks me to do the absolute easiest thing I can think of doing, yes you bet I am going to jump to do it! I’m lucky to have the opportunity to show some gratitude, be helpful, return some of the joy that I’ve been given by being included.  I am grateful to be pampered, protected and attended to in so many ways by men who ask for little more from me than my company and a cold beer.

I’d be insulted by anyone who would think I’m the kind of woman who WOULDN’T fetch a beer.  Hell, I’ll even shake my tail on the way back if it will make him smile.  Get over yourself.  Life is too damn short and too damn hard to get your panties in a knot over a cold beer.


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