Attraction,  Header Slider,  Love is Blind Book

Men Love Sex, Women Love Attention.

There’s so much bitterness and resentment currently between the sexes.  Why? Because they simply don’t understand each other.  They want the other to be just like them.  The myth of marrying your best friend and equality and treat him/her how you want to be treated has completely confused the f*ck out of everyone.

I’m not saying he can’t be your friend. But he’s not going to be like your girlfriend.  If you want a partner to shop with you and talk to you endlessly about what could or might happen “if” scenarios, then you want a partner who is a woman. He doesn’t want that.  Similarly guys, if you want a partner who is stoic and to the point and predictable, then you probably want a dude.  Just saying.  Get real.

Women accuse men of being sex-obsessed, thinking with their dicks, objectifying women with a glance.  Men accuse women of being attention whores, selfie-addicted, narcissists.  There’s a battle between desire and resentment constantly playing out between the sexes that we have never seen before.  This is caused by two things: A total lack of acceptance about what drives the other and the internet.

So, here’s the deal.  Ladies, as long as you expect men to view sex the same way you do, you will be disappointed and resentful.  He never will. He is not wired the same as you are. And your resentment, disgust, divisiveness of his sexual desires and expressions is a cruel attack on his soul.  Your shaming tactics to turn his glances of appreciation into objectifying stares, to treat all men as rapists who need to learn not to rape and to insist that any relationship is built on your sexual terms only is cruel, abusive and destructive.

Men love sex.  Men are biologically wired to seek sex.   They find it pleasurable sexually, mentally and emotionally. It offers them a release to their desire, their frustrations, their emotions while also connecting them deeply with someone they admire and care for.  Treating their desire, the frequency of their desire, the way it is expressed as dirty is making them an enemy to your needs and is causing them to turn to places where they can get their sexual needs met without judgement.  Often that place is the internet.

While we often hear negative messages about men and their sex drives, it is at least by most, accepted as a normal, unavoidable part of their nature. A man can choose to seek out as many possible outlets for his sexuality or choose to be monogamous but it is seen as a reflection of the man’s values and lifestyle how he chooses to handle this unavoidable part of his nature.

For women however, there is part of their nature that is equally unavoidable and biologically wired. But instead of appreciating this as a natural aspect of the feminine nature that can be handled in a variety of ways, like a man’s sex drive, society and men especially, tend to shame women for this.

What do women seek from the outside that makes them feel good?  Attention. Women like attention and women are wired to seek it.  Attention can be sought out in many ways: fame seeking, selfie-posting, provocative clothing, creating drama, coy flirting, make-up.  There are many ways that women get attention and as with  men who have the option to seek easy outlets for their sexual needs (porn, loose women, multiple partners, one-night stands) or to invest himself in a partner who will meet his sexual needs (and everything on the scale between). She can seek the attention of many or the attention of her chosen one.  But regardless of how she gets her needs met; they are the same. A woman seeks attention, a certain level of validation. She wants to be appreciated and to have that appreciation confirmed verbally.

Because men do not seek attention in these same ways and in fact to get attention in this way might make many of them feel uncomfortable they don’t understand it and so they love to criticize it.  They call women “attention-whores.”  They put them down for the number of selfies. The perceive them to be weak and insecure and even stupid for posting pictures of themselves looking their best and for feeling that the “likes” or “comments” of affirmation would mean something.  This shaming of women for seeking attention and male approval of their beauty, style and attitude is no better than women shaming men for “looking at a woman’s body”, for their sexual desire, for his attempts to learn how to seduce and attract a woman or even for his pleasure in getting easy, no strings attached “meaningless” sex.

Women were made to be beautiful and men were made to desire them.  Men were made with such a strong desire for women, in fact, that they will do anything to get the attention and affection of them! Look at young men who are infatuated with a woman. These are the men showing off their dangerous bike tricks. These are the men buying shiny expensive new cars. These are the men who will literally do anything for love!  As they get older, suffer heartbreak, they scale back their efforts, not because they don’t still have the desire to do back flips for a woman he loves but because he’s become cautious and fearful of the emotional pain.

These antics and dramatic gestures are the very heart and soul of the Big Proposal! The blimp soaring across the sky with “Marry Me,”the crowd of strangers learning a dance routine to propose to the unsuspecting bride to be.  The creativity, ingenuity, planning and execution of many proposals is simply mind blowing!

Why? Because on some level, men know that women love it when a man makes a big deal over her.  It is not so much the attention of the crowd, even in these group proposals. It is the intensity of the attention he is showering on her that overwhelms her.

Why is this? Well, I’m no scientist but I believe that when a man gives a woman his full attention, she feels more security in keeping him. She does not want to worry that if she commits herself to him for mating that she will lose his attention to someone else.  This need for attention is a survival instinct that is biologically embedded in us; part of our wiring; the way God made us. Just like a man’s sex drive is a survival instinct.

So, don’t shame each other for nature.  Understand it about yourself and the opposite sex.  Realize that how you choose to get your needs met is up to you.  If a woman wants to seek the attention of every man; that is her choice.  If a man wants to have sex with every woman; that is his choice.  All our choices have consequences but they are choices and up to the individual.

Realize also that when someone is having their needs met, they don’t keep looking for more.   (Yes, some people may have a personality disorder or some trauma they are working through where they are a bottomless pit of need. I am talking about generally emotionally and mentally healthy people.)   But if someone is NOT getting his or her needs met, he or she will find a way.  These are needs, not wants. And we get them met. It’s survival.

So men, that means, if you are fulfilling you woman’s need for attention and affirmation, she will not waste her energy looking for it elsewhere.  Ladies, that means if you are fulfilling your man’s need for sex, variety in sex and excitement, he will not waste his energy looking for it elsewhere.

The easiest, fastest way for both men and women to get these needs met, with the least amount of personal investment is online.  Men have porn, women have social media.  If your relationship is suffering and you both are feeling unfulfilled, the fastest fix you can implement is to understand and accept the other person’s needs.  Then stop looking at porn or escaping into sports (excitement) men and ladies, shut down the social media and get the attention of your man.  Where you put your attention and energy is a reflection of your values.  If you value your partner, put your efforts there.  And stop shaming each other.  You’re just human.



PS. Before everyone starts griping in the comments I’ll clarify that this post is using examples to illustrate part of our nature that is different in men and women and where it might come from. I’m not at all saying that men don’t also like attention and that women don’t also like sex.  Of course men like attention too and women love sex.  I’m trying to illustrate some of the subtle differences using exaggerated or extreme examples because I don’t have time to write about every little scenario possible.  Don’t be ridiculous in my comments because you are hungry or bored or looking for a fight. No one has time for that.

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  • Omega Man

    Fantastic post. I just hope that the young men and women of today will heed the wisdom proffered in this article

    Just a few funny comments about young men.

    I bought a Corvette and ended up marrying one of the young ladies who loved to ride with me. The sad (not really) part is that once the babies came along, I had to trade it in for a Dodge mini-van. My wife also told me that I no longer needed a chick-magnet as I already had a chick, i.e. her. I’m not really complaining as we’ve been married for more than 25 years and there is no let up.

    The other point is that while men do like sex, sex with the woman you love is like nothing else on this earth. While this never happened to me, I would suggest to women that when they deny their husbands sex too often, then what they’re really telling him is that they don’t love him anymore. Your husband will go to the ends of the earth for you, the woman he loves, but you need to know how to show your love to him as well.

    • Stephen & Linda Joaquin

      Women are far more sexual creatures than men. As men get older their ability diminishes. When will we simply start accepting the truth and stop buying into this comforting allusion to stroke men’s bottomless ego well?

      • Lauren Tidale

        Once past menopause most woman lose the want/need for sex all together when as for men in most cases can & want sex to the day they die. It’s been proven scientifically men are driven by sex and women are driven by procreation making men the more sexual creature.

        • Angela

          That is as ignorant as information about sexuality comes. Menopause only ends regular firtility, not sex drive. Female hormones don’t disappear completely when a woman hits menopause. Go read something other than a 1950s playboy. Women are actually ”wired“ to be more promiscuous and visually stimulated than men, no matter what lies the sex industry sells men.

          • Nigel

            I don’t think the world represents that all to well. If this is true, and Women really are just naturally more promiscuous than men then I would assume that all that women would react to situations the same way (if not more irrational) as a man would which I just don’t see. Regularly, if given the opportunity, guys would hook up with girls who are known to be destructive and have huge red flags because of a strong urge to have sex. The opposite of that is girls who get into relationships with guys who are destructive and have red flags but still stay with them anyway. The modern day man is afraid of relationships and the modern day woman is afraid of a player. I already knew why some men are afraid of relationships. But I didn’t understand why so many women were afraid of hook ups. I think the explanation in the article helps explain that a lot actually. If it wasn’t the case, women and men I think would gladly just have sex all the time way more often with multiple people and not call them later for anything.

        • lihe

          “Once past menopause most woman lose the want/need for sex all together” Well, let’s reframe that. Do many women show decreased interest in PIV sex? Probably. That makes sense for psychological, physical, and social reasons. Does it follow that they’re no longer interested in orgasm? Well, is there any evidence that women find sexuality activity gratifying only when they’ve ovulated? No? Then why would it be assumed that fertility and female sexuality are intrinsically linked? In fact, women enjoy sexual activity when they’re ovulating, when they’re not ovulating, when they’re menstruating. All the hormones (including testosterone) responsible for the sexual response ARE STILL PRESENT in menopause, they just no longer shift up and down as they do during the ovulation/menstrual cycle. Please, stop perpetuating the myth that women and especially old women aren’t sexual beings. It’s stupid and harmful.

    • chloe k

      Thank you for writing this blog. It is very pleasing to see another women be able to put this into perspective without coming from a standpoint of “offending people”. The thing that draws me most to your article is how you are so confident in writing in and saying your opinion that it makes me more convinced. Otherwise, I can’t agree with you more. In this day and age, society accuses men of objectifying women for sex but it is a scientific fact that is just how men are biologically composed and we as women need to accept it and move on. If women don’t like that, then they will need to find a different partner potentially a guy who may not be as focused on sleeping with women as he is with his school or profession. I came across this blog looking for answers to dive into the topic of the history of grinding, the idea of why young adults grind on each other on the dance floor, and the social standards in regards to seeing girl/guy, girl/girl, and guy/guy grinding. With all this being said, I administered a google survey to college students to get their perspective on grinding, sexual dancing, and sexuality. Your title is spot on to the results I got. Men acknowledge on the dance floor that initiate sexual dancing because “they are horny” and women acknowledge that they dance sexually with their girlfriends because “they want attention”. Thank you so much for writing this blog and I hope that over time people will learn to accept these normal human nature thinking processes of how we are wired and stop trying to play a victim card or get offended with the truth of the nature.

      • Kitten Holiday

        Thank you for reading it and for sharing your feedback! I write from my gut and my heart but it’s nice when what I write resonates with others and it’s intriguing when there are surveys to back it up! Of course I always believe there will be some outliers but I don’t think of myself as being all that different from other women so I go on the trust that what is true for me might also be true for many others! Thank you again! <3

  • Mike

    Kitten, you are spot-on, 100%.

    Men and women *are* wired differently, and we’re driven by different core wants and needs. It really is that simple.

    Neither is “right” or “wrong”, they’re just “different”.

    Thank you for being a voice of reason and clarity!

  • james

    Hello Kitten,

    you are making a very important point, several times in your article. In matters of priority and strength of desire, pretty much, Women desire attention and Men desire Sex. Let’s take it further: The emotional and psychological value of sex for men, is equal to emotional and psychological value of attention for women. Now let’s be honest, talking in averages ;-), who of the two genders gets their “fix” (the real deal) more often. In general, women get real life attention thrown at them on a daily basis, then add social media attention (the synthetic “fix”). Men don’t get sex thrown at them like that, all we are left with is synthetic sex online.

    Another really important and deep aspect: how much do women have to work and pay for their fix, and how much do men for theirs?

    As you can see, (many men’s) bitterness and resentment do not come from not understanding each other, but lack of fairness, why should we get over it?

    In your opinion, what can be done about all this?

    • Kitten Holiday

      You are very right. Women do get their fix with far less effort. However, they only get a partially fulfilling fix. The attention they get falls short of what they are truly seeking, which is security and commitment. It’s fleeting.

      I’m not trying to minimize, I do think that pretty women can “live comfortably” in society with just the attention thrown at them. Then again, women have skyrocketing anxiety rates so maybe they aren’t that happy with the scraps afterall.

      I’m not sure how it could be fixed. I think the internet feeds people cheap fixes (porn, social media attention). Seeking in person relationships and working to fulfill the other persons needs would certainly help. So would having the self restraint to not seek out the attention online during a slump. (Men are shamed for flirting and having affairs and wile many men may call women attention whores or whatnot for posting a lot of selfies, there are not the same consequences for seeking to get their needs met outside the relationship. They aren’t seen to be on the same plane of seriousness. I think they are both dangerous behaviors to relationships.

      I’m hoping if we understand these needs we can try to meet them. Men should remember their partner really does seek his attention and approval far more than he might think is necessary. And women need to remember that men need that sexual release more than they do. In a relationship, it is our job to meet these needs for our partners as much as possible.

      • David

        Hi Kitten,
        Thank so much for posting this, it’s got to be one of the best, well balanced articles on women and men that states what we’re thinking but too scared to say for fear of being berated for it! I’m grateful that there are people like you in the world to dispel my cynicism and give some non judgemental insights into why we are like we are and the difference between men and women. It’s bittersweet to me, on the one hand depressing because it doesn’t play into the hands of our Hollywood notions of love and relationships (happily ever after) but it’s positive because now that we understand each other’s drivers, we can work with them to meet each others needs.

        Dave 🙂

      • p

        How are you comfortable being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you for you as a person Kitty? That seems extremely dehumanizing and self hating to me

          • Travis

            The comment you’re responding to seems right on point with what you wrote in this article. Now I agree to certain extent as a generalization, but to assume men and woman are all the same way is a fallacy that keeps getting pounded into our heads. Our humanity isn’t our sex. What we want and need because of our gender is a spectrum and culturally based. People need to be in touch with both sides of themselves, feminine and masculine. It’s easy to fall into this trap of gender specific needs and wants. It’s not that simple. Men that just look for sex and woman that just want affirmation are signs of insecurity. Start by becoming the best person you can and get in touch with your humanity, not just your gender specific needs. Love will follow and someone that loves you for yourself will be there. Never sacrifice who you are for someone else and don’t have these expectations. Let them decide if you’re good enough not the other way around. You’re giving people expectations and selling both sexes short. If this is your experience you may need to work on who you are attracted to and pick to date.

  • kinglbjtj

    using a car to get a chick is sad. get the car for yourself. wear makeup for yourself. of course its smarter to drive a boring eco friendly car tho.

  • james

    The rampant female narcissism that flourished out of constant attention from men is creating enormous issues in daily male-female relationships, at the expense of undeserving men. Most women seek attention, attractive, non-attractive, wives, sisters. I’ve witnessed countless mothers in company of their husbands and kids, jump hoops to get attention from the top males, to get that ego boost, because by “some law” if an attractive man looks at you he must be interested in you. I witnessed many unattractive women (yes, unattractive, bear with me) change their course so you have to bump into them, and the second you notice them (how could you not after that show she just performed) they put on their rejection face on, or the “innocent” don’t-look-at-me-please-don’t-violate-me-with-your-eyes look. And I know she’s not looking for security or commitment with that face on, quite the opposite. She’s putting her self in potential danger (she doesn’t know me) only to “reject” me. All of that just to get a pair of eyes on her. That toxic, dishonest, imaginative ego boost makes the female more entitled, she creates (in her head) a fake sense of bigger value (let’s not get into the looks/value topic because, seeking attention by eyes is all about looks, and women seek it all the time) and so, to underline, her relationships with every day men in her surroundings start to deteriorate, at the expense of men’s sanity, which they do not deserve. Meanwhile, she gets her fix, for free, takes it, forces it even in some cases.

    Should women take responsibility for that?

      • Jonathan

        So, if you are being honest, you are the exception to the rule that the author allowed for. For me this makes you the truly scary sociopath.

        • Anto

          You address her and not him and I don’t see the link with her being a sociopath for not needing any male approval all the time. She’s not an exception at all. For many guys here, it’s damned if you don’t and damned if you do for women. If she does, she’s like all women, if she’s not like “all women” she’s a scary sociopath.
          Same for women and videogames and whatever you mention.

      • chloe k

        I do not think she sounds like a sociopath. Potentially I could see you feeling this way if you are from a different lifestyle or part of the world. However, I see this occur in my everyday life and even adminstered a google survey (for a research project) to young adults and found the results clearly align with her words. Straight guys admitted to being horny especially on the dance floor and straight females admitted to wanting male attention while dancing sexually on the dance floor. Where I do see a line drawn is as people grow up out of that “going out to clubs” as in start having a family and are in their 40’s and 50’s. Men still want sex and women still want attention in regards to the ideas she brought upon but I think the part of them seeking those things on the dance floor become masked as older adults who have professions and taking care of a family most likely aren’t going to nightclubs every weekend unless you live in an area heavily concentrated with that. But once again, this is just all from my perspective.

      • Richboi

        Omg Megan really, we have a feminist people. Hope you don’t have a son because he will experience hell with women.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve started to work some of this out myself, I’m 31 now and in a position where my frivolities have ceased, my wit and job have improved, so to some extent I am more likely to meet a permanent partner, as my looks haven’t diminished too much and I’m a much rounder person. I’ve accepted the folly of women now, and the desperation over this folly of men. To some extent in free society I believe this has always existed. What I would say to men is, even if a woman acts coy then comes back, give her a subtle gesture in person or text to let her know your heart is hers. Don’t overstate this, and if you are lucky….you get her, but yours is the risk and you will lose many times be strong… it’s hard to be a man.

    • KK

      Never been a fan of people (men or women) who need constant attention. But I have been in a relationship where the women was always needing it when we were out, in how she would dress and also how she behaved with guys. Very flirtatious, and would even tell me afterwards about a guy paying her attention when I wasn’t even around.
      I never understand people like that, but I just wanted to say that it can also be guys trying for attention too but in different ways like being loud or being the stupid joke teller or the guy that just needs to be heard all the time. I’m sure most women don’t really like those kind of guys the same as men not liking their women being attention getters too.

      • p

        As a stupid Joke teller I’m insulted. People love me thank you very much. Life would be boring without me. I swear. I bet you only have missionary sex. You definitely seem to hate fun ):<

  • Reuben

    You’re totally right! Except for the fact about the reason we’re wired that way… if there was a God, the reason both sexes do either of these things is because we both try to fill the gap in our spirit (aware or unaware of it) that we don’t allow God to fill. We become so desperate inside to be whole, that we fill it with what we believe to be right (sex for men, attention for women). We don’t realise that, neither of these things will never make us happy. You have to keep coming back for it to lift yourself up again. Before you know it, you’ve broken friendships, got an addiction to either sex (porn, prostitutes… friends?) or attention (makeup + fashion, social media, friend popularity), and are you really happy?..

    It’s not like that with God, as relationship is what truly fills that gap in your spirit in which we’ve all tried to temporarily fill with this instinct. Let God take over, so reputation never has to affect you ever again. He loves you so much, and walk with him? He’ll free you from all of it. That’s true redemption.

  • John

    Ladies – go ahead and keep believing we’ll do anything for sex. It’s not true anymore. Women have manipulated men with sex for so long that we’re done with it. It’s nothing but a tool of manipulation, so sex is off the table in all my dating relationships. Now let’s talk about your need for attention. It’s annoying and childish. I won’t stand for it. And since you have nothing to give me (sex is really all you ever had) in return, you get no attention. Life is so much better with a woman in it.

  • Xhris

    While the behavioral patterns you describe are accurate for many men (“sex-driven”) and women (“attention-seeking”), they have very little to do with “nature” in the sense that men and women are “wired” that way. The opposite is the case. Nature provides a much wider range of behavioral options than the ones we are commonly used to seeing. However, most of these options are filtered out by societal norms (education, shaming, etc.) so that for most people only a much smaller range remains. This reduction of complexity is then often falsely perceived as “the way nature intended it” or “how things are meant to be”. But this is an illusion. The truth is that we make our own joy and misery alike, and once we realize this, we are free to throw off the idiotic shackles modern “culture” is constantly trying to impose on us. Both bros and hoes need to go away to make room for more freedom.

    • p

      I’m pretty sure the sex drive thing is testosterone per experience. Men will be quite happier with a little Spiro in their system 😉

    • Angela

      Finally, XHRIS, someone here is using their brain and not getting their information from ex-strippers and porn addicts. This article is based on observations of social construct and NOT biology. It’s absolute nonsense. Our society exploits and shamed female sexuality at the same time. It is used and commodified at every turn. Instead of letting women own their primal desires, they are raised to always look/act sexy (aka to appear open and available to any man) but not act on it. It’s all societal. Pre-agricultural humans were not monogamous, (especially the women) and men had as much invested in offspring as women because there wasn’t any Maxim or Playboy magazines feeding them lies about human sexuality and sex roles.

  • Hanna

    The ol stereo typing women need a mans validation or be ignored bullshit.
    The ol women don’t love plain dirty and primitive sex when in fact we do.
    Women “are” sex.
    Hugh Hefner even said this.
    We don’t need an emotional connection.
    And we really deep down inside do not give two fucks about a mans desires unless we love him or he pays us.

    • Jay Gap

      Shut up!…Typical female idiot, the fact that you commented with a negative grumpy female attitude is testament to the female dominated world we live in, the driving force behind the disconnection between both sexes. Get over already!!

      • p

        New copypasta! D:< Shut up! D:<…Typical female XD idiot XD, the fact that you commented with a D:< negative D:< grumpy O+ female O+ attitude is testament to the O+ female O+ 😮 dominated 😮 world we live in, the driving force behind the X disconnection X between both 8===D sexes ({"}). !!!Get over already!!

        If no ones fucking you the reality is you're probably not fuckable. Get over it. And learn to talk like a human

    • Anonymous

      If you “love” sex so much then why withhold it, use it as a weapon, won’t do it if you’re upset, need to get paid to do it, lie about having headaches to avoid it, lie about being tired, stop having it after marriage, babies, make guys jump through hoops to get it, fake orgasms?

      Guys don’t do this. We, really love sex. We don’t need to warm up to want it either. You don’t have to take us out or buy us anything or massage us to make us want it. You don’t even have to talk.

      So stop with the mythology. Women are sex? Women are the embodiment of lies and manipulation. Deceit.

  • Sid Crowley

    I’ve checked out of the mating arena and couldn’t be happier. Women today are nuts with their expectations, annoying with their social media addiction, and really confused because of feminism and this “career/family have-it-all problem”. Not my problem. I don’t get seven page credit card bills in the mail from weekend after weekend of “retail therapy” either and honestly when most couples fight about money, that’s the source of the friction. I don’t like wasting money on foo-foo material crap and clothes I will wear once and then toss on the closet floor. I have two pairs of shoes. Two pairs of jeans. Three pairs of work pants. A dozen shirts (six for work). I’m a simple guy. Why would I want to move in with a woman who’s expecting me to bring home the lion’s share of the money, despite all this equality business? The reality is women still marry up, and now – thanks to a throw-away attitude and the “divorce industry” odds are the guy will be looking at a divorce or separation somewhere down the line. Sorry, pass.

  • Sid Crowley

    Oh, @Hanna:

    “And we really deep down inside do not give two fucks about a mans desires unless we love him or he pays us.”

    We know Hanna. You only care about the guy if you’re getting something out of him. Men are just a utility – a resource for you. You’re the kind of person who leaves their mate because of job loss. People like you deserve the kind of misery you bring upon yourself.

    Thanks for being yet another woman to re-assure me that I’m making the best choice by remaining single.

  • Anonymous

    First let me start off with a disclaimer here, you don’t know me and being that I am anonymous here, there is little motivation or reason for me to lie or to flatter you here. So, these words are 100 percent my honest thoughts on your work.

    I have read numerous articles and books about relationships and they pretty much have left me confused about women. I have dated over 100 women in my lifetime and still was confused to the internal workings of a woman’s mind. I understand that women lust for money and stability in a man, but I could never get into a woman’s mind to understand her motivations for these desires. Your article here is the best article I have ever read about understanding the inner workings of the female mind.

    Most of the world is full of BS and PC culture which basically spews out lies or “feel good” stories which only leave the readers astray and more baffled. Your insight, courage to see what is real, and ability to articulate it in a succinct and meaningful way is pretty rare, especially for a female writer.

    Thank you for your meaningful and life altering insight, your words here are very much appreciated.

  • Butch Hawkins

    I quit dating altogether. I go out with friends for my own enjoyment. Women these days seem to be looking for the guy in the movies. The perfect guy. That’s fine. If that unicorn is out there. Me, I am just a guy in his 50s. Single and OK with it. If a woman comes along that doesn’t look down on a man with a few dings and scrapes. That isn’t all about the bank account. I’m combat vet on disability. And I 100% understand the desire for a fella with more cash. So if that gal ever comes along. Then I’m open. And I will treat her with the same respect and love that I expect. But I am happy with my life right now. At least for the moment.

    • Barbara

      Anonymous I married DOWN. I did not marry for money and stability. PLEASEstop grouping all women together
      I have a stronger sex drive than my husband and I love to connect but I can also JUST DO SEX.
      PLEASE stop the stereotypingz
      It is unrealistic and it based on science.May be helpful to check out the Goottman Institute, Dr Omar Minwalla, Dr Skinner ( to name a few) about how damaging it is to stereotype.
      It is IMPOSSIBLE to depict EVERY man or woman unless you poll every man and woman in the planet. Generalizations are not scientific.

  • woodshoot

    Your article completely skips over the way women get attention and men get sex from a bunch of different people. Women lead men on into thinking they have a chance with her. That is the only way women get men to waste their time on a girl who isn’t giving them anything in return. Equally, men pretend they are prepared for a long-term relationship with a girl when really they just want to have sex with them.

    Or do you really think there are men who just want to sit around giving attention to women indefinitely for no reason? If you met any of these women and asked them truthfully, they would tell you that these men eventually give up when they realise they have been had. The women then have to find a new group of men to add to their instagram account.

    It is just sick and disgusting and only immature, unhappy people engage in this type of behavior. The world does not reward them kindly for using other people.

    • blogster

      You make some good points. I’d go a step further but. How many times does a woman have to make the mistake of having sex too early or not attempting to get affection and attention in return before she adjusts her actions towards men? Maybe 2 times (or 3 times if she’s a bit dense).

      How many times must a man give some level of attention to women before he realises he’s been had and she just wants an attention fix? It never ends for men, because in order to get the shot at sex or a relationship, he must initiate first, tip his hand and show interest.

      AT minimum she gets some level of validation, women know men don’t talk to them unless they hope for sex or a relationship.

      This is ultimately why women don’t approach first, it leaves them no wiggle room or plausible deniability.

    • Anonymous

      Not saying this article is true or not true.. this is all new stuff to me. Just recently decided to research opposing arguments about feminism, a topic which I always bought into to just to rationalize my own promiscuous behavior and accept my friends for also being promiscuous. It was a real form of nihilism to me, but getting through high school and seeing all of the drama and relationship dynamics that arise when developing adults are all grouped together, and getting involved in it has really made me curious about the differing perspectives of men.

      No one teaches you these things at age 14, so when I got into my first relationship, with a guy who is now deceased to make matters worse, I soaked up all the attention, loved feeling comforted when I cried, and enjoyed feeling my worries wash away when I was with him. He brought up sexual desires of course, and I was curious about it, so I learned and I did what he asked me to do, because my “feminist” (whatever that means anymore) mind made me want to try something new and practice my freedom to engage in this sexual behavior. I learned from an early age how to please a male this way, surprisingly. But deep down, I was always just using this feminism as a front to justify my constant need for attention, from any guy at all. I felt like I was climbing stairs as I dumped that first boyfriend and moved on to the next “better-looking” one that I could post pictures with and make guys jealous, in my screwed up head.

      Then I grew a reputation of being a slut, and the roles flipped; I was now the one getting dumped… getting lured in with as much attention needed to occupy my freetime, sometimes with promises of reliability and security, and then we’d have sex and I’d just get completely cut off. I was an emotional wreck and ended up messing with drugs, where I’d have experiences on mdma or lsd with a room of guys that I thought were my friends and start freaking out because I knew their game and didn’t like it. I felt like the drugs were just there to lure women over to them and I’ve even been in situations where I’m high on a drug given to me for free and there’s men clearly are trying to get me to have sex with them, and then they send me home when I don’t budge. the following day I would ask them about it and they tell me that didn’t happen and I hallucinated the whole thing.

      Now I’m in a stable relationship. Saw a few of my friends die or get locked up from engaging in the drug games that may or may not just be a whole set up to help men attract women and (depending how you look at it) use it as a tactic to manipulate them to have sex, so I’m out of that picture now. And I just want to know the truth. These experiences of getting hurt in the past by the repetitive motives of males in my life makes it so hard to feel secure, and this craving of security and acknowledgement is an uncontrollable urge that most females experience and in my opinion both genders need to accept this.
      Do not “trick” me into having sex with you. Be upfront for the love of god, so I’m not expecting something long lasting. and get my hopes up. Surprisingly, a lot of women will understand your desire for sex and I know many of them that hate feeling tricked or set up. I’ve heard guys talking about me behind my back like my desire from attention from a guy was a joke, and I’m actually just some needy, broken, emotional woman who never knew what she was talking about. It took me a long time to not believe this as true and for awhile I felt embarrassed for being so naïve and unaware of what my guy “friends” were actually trying to accomplish. The thing is, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, what they were doing was because of their biological needs and I was trying to fulfill my needs as well. However, just don’t enjoy how they went about all of it and obviously their sex tactics failed miserably on me because I think way too much and can handle myself on most drugs.

      But can have lots of fun figuring out how to give your lover their favorite kind of attention, like a less involved video game. It’s not a chore, it’s not work, it’s just accepting how your significant other is wired and going with it. It feels good to make other people feel good, in whatever form it may be. Like I said, I’m still learning a lot and I’m not going to feel ashamed for desiring a secure, stable relationship, nor will I feel bad about experimenting with a dozen or so people in the past. I find that the more I feel secure in a relationship the less desire I have to use drugs, many may find that messed up or addict-minded but my rational side tells me that it’s pretty natural, not even gender related because both attention and sex is powerful enough to use as self medication. Bottom line is men should be honest about their intentions, you would be surprised how many women wouldn’t mind having sex if you’re giving something to them in return; but if she seems needy and broken and you aren’t willing to deal with that for a long time, please stay the hell away from her and let the right person come along. It would solve so many differences between opposite genders. Honesty and understanding is key

  • John

    It’s easy for women to say ‘get over it’ when men have been the losers in all this. 60 years ago the dating pools were tiny and most people ended up marrying someone from their hometown due to lack of mobility and other options. People married young and made the best of it. Few could afford to be picky about who they married. It was far from a perfect arrangement, but many a loyal husband was quite happy to spend his life giving his wife the love, attention, and security she needed in exchange for the sex he needed. The internet has destroyed any and all realistic expectations across the spectrum from casual sex to marriage.

    Social media means women no longer have to put in any effort to get attention beyond lifting their arm and taking another selfie. They don’t even have to leave the house anymore to get attention. They can just lie around on the couch with their smart phones and bask in the adoration of hundreds of people from all over the world feeding them endless validation.

    Women have become drug addicts, addicted to a constant stream of ‘likes’ and praise that is now available to them on tap 24/7. This hyperinflation has fooled women into thinking they’re princesses and they now act accordingly. Despite all the feminist talk of only wanting equality, dating site statistics reveal the brutal truth: women consider 80% of men ‘below average’ in everything from looks and height to wealth and status. The 1-10 scale only applies to women. As far as women are concerned, any man below an 8 is invisible and not really a man at all but just part of the scenery.

    Women across the spectrum are only looking for the top 10% of men who are tall, rich, handsome, athletic, and of high social status. Western women have become so entitled and deluded that they are blind to the flipside of this. Even old hags with three kids to two different fathers still can’t grasp that the top 10% of men are only interested in the top 10% of young beautiful fertile women who haven’t had children yet.
    It blows my mind to see a never ending parade of delusional middle aged women on dating and hook up sites with their laundry lists of requirements.

    A typical ads reads:

    “45-year-old BBW seeks handsome, athletic, educated, honest and respectful man who is at least 6 feet tall, well hung, and makes over $150,000 a year.”

    Note the euphemism. Women demand honesty in a man yet are never honest themselves. Women never just come right out and say they’re fat. It’s always ‘BBW’ or ‘curvy’ or ‘larger woman.’ The world is full of such delusional women now. Women whose sexual market place value fell through the floor years ago yet still think a handsome millionaire’s going to come knocking on the door of their suburban apartment and sweep them off their feet.

    Many men are opting out of the dating game and giving up on women altogether. Sophisticated robot sex dolls are already being developed and in the next decade or so will become realistic enough to fulfil men’s sexual needs. Once that happens the only attention women will be getting is from other women. The only reason men have ever given women attention is due to the possibility of getting sex in return. With the advent of life-like sex dolls, men who aren’t specifically looking to have children will have no need for women. Women will still crave male attention though, and millions will have nervous breakdowns once men no longer have any incentive to give it to them.

    It would be laughable if it wasn’t so tragic.

  • Eoin

    I agree with a lot of whats been said here, women do seek male attention. But I disagree with the idea that this is hard wired into their biology. Just take a step back and look at things and you see that the need for attention is destructive. The institution of marriage is in a dire state. Most marriages end in divorce and 75% of those break ups are initiated by women. Women crave attention from men and if they dont get it they’ll try to find someone else who’ll give them that attention. But in order to get that attention they’ll inject poison into their faces. They’ll spend most of their time and income on beauty treatments and products. They’ll get into debt from spending money on clothes that they dont have. They’ll warp and ruin their natural features with plastic surgery. How many times have you seen famous women who no look like aliens because their faces have been destroyed by procedures. These are terrible things and a waste of life. Women were not meant to destroy their bodies and minds seeking male attention. Thats 100% ego. There are 2 paths through life; one is living by the ego the other is realising that theres more, something deeper and fulfilling. Its found by not trying to get artention. Letting that go and feeling what comes up from there. If you do this you find deeper meaning and ultimately live a happy life. So to say that womens need for attention is hard wired into them……..thats not true. Its the road most women go down but its not the one that leads to happiness. A few women have been brave enough to let go of the need for attention and they found happiness thats real and lasting.

    • Kitten Holiday

      Of course seeking attention from the masses is destructive. Just like having sex with the masses is destructive.

      • Dave

        Hey Kitten I get his point. I think this is more of him just expressing his personal views than a harsh rebuttal of your article (which is how you responded to it). Your responses to these comments are quite snappy in general. By the way I enjoyed reading your article and THANK YOU for writing it. I agree with the majority of it; I will say that I believe that this desire for attention is largely fueled by the society that we live in today. Women love being appreciated (most men feel most appreciated by having sex), but for many women it has definitely spiraled out of control. Hence toxic relationships where women blatantly use men that they have no intention of having sex with, social media addiction, etc. At the end of the day it happens on both sides, men faking interest just to get inside womens’ pants. From my experience the deception happens more from woman to man than from man to woman. Maybe my opinion is biased because I am a man. Sometimes I wonder, which sex started the deception and insecurity first? A lot of it comes from people not knowing themselves.

        Though despite this, there are definitely people that know themselves and choose to not play this superficial game at all and live happily. This world we live in is extremely shallow. But the amount of great sex you can get from playing this game is worth it.

          • Eoin

            Just seeing this now………Dave was right, my comment was not an attack on you or your article, and I definitely wasnt trolling. .Jack nicholson said something like: Everything men do is secretly driven by the desire for sex. He’s probably right. But I think if you become self aware and start to look at yourself and ask why you do the things you do, then a change can definitely take place. Basically what Im saying is it comes down to a choice. You can allow sex to drive everything you do or you can choose to take another path. And I think its the same for women and attention. You can allow the craving for attention to drive you and your choices or you can stop and decide to take another way through life.
            And thats why I dont think the desire for attention in women is hard wired, because theres always a choice. Women can decide to stop seeking attention and instead give themselves validation. I think thats what it boils down to. Theres a great TED talk titled beauty sickness by Renee Englen that talks about all of this.

          • Kitten Holiday

            Agree. I did try to address that in the article. I also tried to make a distinction between healthy sex/attention and unhealthy. We all crave intimacy, acknowledgement, to be known by others and understood or appreciated. We can allow our needs to take control of us and fulfill these desires in meaningless or even harmful ways or we can be more self aware and have them fulfilled in a relationship, community.

            Men can also stop seeking sex and just masturbate but is that the same as quitting? I’d ask the same of your suggestion for women. We were built for relationships. Denying ourselves our needs won’t make them less real. It’s better to find fulfillment in ways that aren’t destructive.

  • Nipple-warriorlol

    Men’s issues are always either downplayed or put into comparison with women’s issues and then deemed not that bad. This is the new lifestyle which makes men not want to be involved as much. For example, in this article a man’s need for sex is put at an equal or lower place than a woman’s need for attention. But how hard does a man need to work for sex versus how hard a woman needs to work for attention? For a man to get sex from any person they have to give their attention (what guy just walks over, says lets fuck and gets his way without giving value.) and also curb their need for sex because of delayed gratification. Women get attention by looking good then advertising that they do (she doesn’t need to have sex first, because of how the game works). I can look like michael jackson doing the moonwalk with the glove and that doesn’t mean I will get sex without giving in return. She can put on a sundress or some rompers and take a walk at the park and will get anamount of attention that is actually scary (and will walk back home without having sex of course). Now i understand women have struggles to, and i don’t think they should have to have sex for attention like some kind of a car deal (that’s wrong). But i do think the amount of work needed to get attention is far less than the work needed for sex (and this is where a problem comes in). So a man isn’t given hell for chasing sex, well that’s because it takes a lot of work and you have to put out a lot of attention (for her) and skills (to be different than the other guy chasing the same thing). For women to get attention they need skills indeed. I’ve tried doing make up for my ex for a bet (shits not easy). But you’re making the illusion of a possibility of sex, especially if the woman is unsure of how she feels. But that illusion is made to keep getting the attention. Now lets say she just gets tired of that brand of attention. She walks away (no shame in her game, it’s life), he gets no sex, and she got all the attention she needed from this specific person at the time. Now where is the work that would prevent someone from being shamed in that? If someone can really answer please do. Because this actually puts me in a dark place. And i wish i wasn’t so bitter about it.

    • Anonymous

      It’s like this: she wants attention, you want sex. You give her a little bit of attention/acknowledgment, but not enough to indicate that you actually want to have sex with her. Then disengage so that she feels a loss of attention and wants it back. If she reengages with you, escalate the connection by physically touching her while you say something , but break the connection again. Repeat this process by setting up a time/place and continue to physically escalate and boom you’re done.

      • Anto

        You sound quite sad here. Are you sure your theory is a closed and perfect air tight system? 🙂 Good news for you, it’s not.

    • Anto

      Maybe her theory is not so air tight, don’t take her literally.
      Many all talk about how feminists are the worst, well the Op’s theory is apparently the result of traditional, hence non feminist, gender roles. Maybe they mistaken the target of their frustration.


    It is very sad the amount of very pathetic loser women that we have out there nowadays that are making it very difficult for many of us good innocent men really looking for love today. Women have certainly changed for the worst of all unfortunately now since they just don’t have any respect for us men at all with a very rotten personality to go along with it as well. It has become so very dangerous for many of us men to try to start a normal conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet since they will be very nasty to us most of the time and walk away anyway. Very troubled women nowadays with a lot of very severe mental problems which unfortunately most of them have which makes it very scary for many of us men trying to meet a decent normal woman nowadays. And there are many of us very good innocent men that would really know how to treat a good woman with a lot of love and respect which they just don’t give us men a chance at all either. These type of women should seek real professional help since most of them nowadays do need it very badly, especially the way that they act now with us men that never did anything wrong in the first place. And now you have all of these reality TV shows as well as social media that has certainly corrupted many of these women’s minds along with these Feminists that are everywhere these days that had made it worse altogether. It is very obvious why many of us good men are still single today because of these women which years ago most of the real good old fashioned women were the very best of all since they really made love happen back then.

  • Des

    What a great article! I was taking a break and feeling frustrated by somebody’s attention-seeking behavior I encountered earlier today. Only half-heartedly expecting to find anything of substance, I googled: “why do women seek so much attention”. I picked this post and found it refreshing, and felt a little better (and less annoyed with a certain somebody) upon reading it. Strangely, there were men and women who responded to this article with rants against the opposite sex, but I found your take on it honest and insightful. No need for me to read any other posts on the subject today, you captured and expressed it all very nicely. It must have been just what I needed.
    With a little help from your article, I did “get over it”.

  • Anonymous

    Lol what a female-centered joke of an article! The world does not revolve around you. Women desire sex or a sexual release just as much. At least from my experience. Your lies and deciet have long been proven wrong. Sluts like you and your hatred of men are only going to affect your well being lol. Not us. We know the reality.

  • Asad

    Lol what a female-centered joke of an article! The world does not revolve around you. Women desire sex or a sexual release just as much. At least from my experience. Your lies and deciet have long been proven wrong. Sluts like you and your hatred of men are only going to affect your well being lol. Not us. We know the reality.

    • Michelle Grewe

      I’m not sure what dictionary you’re working with, but a slut would be a woman who has lots of sex. To call a person a slut and claim they don’t like sex and that they hate men is kind of like saying you are an intelligent person after reading your comment. Her lies and deceit has long been proven wrong, again you got confused because it’s not her doing the lying and deceiving, it’s you. And “We” know the reality, Asad are you an organization?

      • S--

        Nice try insecure feminazi. Stop changing the subject and get off point here. You’re not fooling anyone. Especially not me.

  • Asad

    Sluts like you can never be successful at keeping the truth from men. Women desire sex or release just as much. Your past issues with men have probably led you to write this laughably inaccurate passage. But nothing can be further from the truth. Thankfully I know from experience.

  • Michelle Grewe

    I think sex is very different between men and women, like the biological differences between the genders is hard to deny, but it’s more than just the parts. Like transgender people realize that and often have to do some hormone replacements, and even then, it feels like something else is missing for the transformation to be fully complete. And I think part of the problem is that people are confusing gender roles for gender differences and are changing the expectations culturally, and it’s interfering a bit, but on a Darwinian level (or creationism), God made us malleable, so we’ll evolve/adapt to the next culture somehow.

    • S--

      Exactly my point. Insecure and selfish women like you and Kitty (especially spoiled, evil western white women such as yourselves) attempt to take advantage of a long-held false stereotype for a shot at revenge for whatever past male issues have engulfed you. Such women really have no decency and help give other honest, strong, nice and caring women a bad name. Go back to Europe. Oh and don’t forget the beach.

  • Steve

    Well unfortunately most of the single women today just can’t commit to only one man anymore since they’re very busy sleeping around with so many different men all the time.

  • K.B. Peters

    The comments are entertaining and nothing more, for the most part, and it does look like many didn’t read the words, skimmed or scrolled to comment once they got pissed off.

    Good insight and I agree about much of it… except for the part about your partner not being your best friend. Been there and done it and it was awesome while it lasted. Although, I’m sure it was an oddity in this world. We still have that connection. Unfortunately, her husband doesn’t have the same connection with her and he squashes it any time he sees her eyes sparkle when I’m around and I won’t see her for several months when I go to pick up my son. But, we were everything to each other for a brief 2 years. She was young. We were poor and crazy…but happy most of the time… although passion is a bit of a double-edged sword. So, I think it can happen but it’s super rare.

    Also, my best friend these days is also a woman. Things did veer off in a sexual direction a few times but one of us would pump the brakes since we both value the friendship too much to screw it up. Yeah, I passed on a drunk, 5’2, buxom, blonde beauty who pinned me up against a wall, kissed me deeply and most passionately and told everyone in the company Christmas party that she was taking me back to her place to fuck my brains out. Got her naked, put a trash can by the bed, took my shoes off and crawled into bed with her to keep her safe. Never touched her. Just made sure she didn’t choke if she puked. I told her in the morning when she woke up frantically checking herself to see if we had fucked, that nothing happened. Six years later, she’s still my best friend so, good call.

    Point is, if there’s love… real, true love… not the shit described above where the relationship or dating is looked at like a business transaction (what am I getting?), you can have it all. A friend who will listen to you manically talk about scenarios at breakneck speed and try to chill you out by either listening or pouring wine down your throat and shoving chocolate in your mouth… and he can be the same dude who makes you laugh sometimes when you’re fucking… make you cum so hard that it qualifies as cardio. Why? Because you’re everything to each other… so freakin’ close that when you hurt, he hurts too. When you’re happy, he’s happy too. It’s out there… just super duper rare and there is no magic formula. It just sorta happens… and when it does happen it becomes consuming and it makes you wonder what the fuck dating was all about since it pales in comparison. But, yeah… I’d sell a kidney and a lung for that… to find that and make that girl smile. Fuck…

    • Anonymous

      Well as long as these women have their girlfriends and a good strap on, then they will have no problem at all since they’re very pathetic low life losers anyway to begin with.

  • Random wife

    Hey, thanks for this article. I am a married woman and have always been aware of and fair about a man’s need for sex. I have spent my 12 yr marriage being sexually available for my spouse, always trying to meet his needs for sex and connection and he’s not complained.
    However he is a bit harsh when he speaks, he is critical and a bit crabby in general and does not tend to give me any praise or verbal affirmation. This has made me feel sad for years and I have asked gently for these needs to be met but he has always told me that I am selfish or otherwise shamed me. Eventually I just stopped asking but today I was feeling lonely and sad and decided to Google “do women want attention” to see if maybe he is right and that there is really something wrong with me that I would like some attention from him. I’m not asking for much. Just some eye contact and maybe some conversation now and then or a compliment or bit of praise when I do something that pleases him. I genuinely want to make him happy and I try so hard and he never praises, only criticizes or is quiet. He says he is happy so I don’t there hunk I’m doing a bad job but I don’t understand why he will not meet my needs for a little bit of attention except that he apparently has bought into the idea that I am a bad person for bothering him with a need he doesn’t understand, I suppose.

    Anyway, to be totally honest, I got teary eyed when I read your article. It was such a relief to know that I’m not some kind of crazy person or closet narcissist for wanting my husband’s attention a little bit. Craving some appreciation or valiadation… just to be told here and there that I am valued and wanted… Anyway thanks for letting me know I am not crazy.

    (And I realize now that this is typed out how very sad it really sounds. But I have not turned to validation seeking from the Internet as truly I just want it from the man I chose to marry. But I have known for a long time that I will need to learn to live without my needs being met or get a divorce-which I probably won’t do because I do not want to hurt the kids. It is really sad. I chose badly and you just don’t get many chances to choose a mate, unfortunately.)

    • Kitten Holiday

      Your post does sound sad and I have felt the same way before but I’m glad you found this article and do feel some validation because what you are seeking is totally normal and now that you know it’s normal I hope you can have more confidence in advocating for your own needs with him. I do hope he will respond to you. You are not asking for too much at all. I wonder if you could show him this article? You could print it out? My heart hurts for you, love. You are only wanting what for many is the bare minimum. I hope he can bring himself to meet your needs or that you can find fulfillment elsewhere (friends, hobbies, etc). Sometimes we need to make do in creative ways.

      • dany john

        Random Wife.. I’m sorry about your situation. I do hope that he changes his ways and acknowledges you. My wife wasn’t the same when she had her miscarriage. She prayed for a year for kids and I had no idea that she actually prayed every night until she got pregnant. She surprised me one day by giving me a present.. and it was baby clothes.. and I was in tears because we’d been talking about having kids for a while.. we wanted two girls. She was 4 and a half months pregnant when she miscarried and the nurse was telling us about the possibility of us having twins and I lost it at the hospital. The nurse comes over and gives me a hug and says she thinks it’s refreshing to see a masculine man show his emotions and I thanked her for that.. but it was at that moment when things changed in our marriage. My wife went cold. She wouldn’t speak to me. I showed sympathy and would do everything I could to make her feel better. Yes, I understand that I wasn’t the one that carried life inside of me for those 4 and a half months but she knows how I am and how I’ve always been good with understanding women on an emotional level (( thanks to my mother not allowing me to hang out with the rest of the boys as much as I’d like to because she didn’t want me around violent video games and movies lmaooo so I spent more time playing barbies and doctor with the girls.. but at least I care about a women’s feelings and am sensitive when it comes to her needs but women are just vicious now days and as much as I don’t want to fuck with them.. I won’t fly solo and be okay with it )) but my thing is.. I don’t know who to be upset with. God.. for blessing us with a baby and then fucking killing it.. and killing my marriage and putting me in this state that I’m in right now where my ptsd and my depression is only going to lead to suicide.. and I don’t want to attempt it again.. only to end up in a hospital for a fucking week regretting my choices. I just want my wife back! She wanted a divorce and I told her no.. so she ends up cheating on me because that’s the only way she’ll get what she wanted because she remembers in the very beginning when I told her I don’t put up with cheating. Her thing was this, ” I DON’T THINK IT’S FAIR FOR ME TO STAY MARRIED TO YOU BECAUSE YOU STILL WANT KIDS AND I DON’T. YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH A WOMAN THAT WANTS KIDS AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.” But she never gave me the time of day to sit down and actually talk about it because if she did that then I probably would of told her I can sacrifice my need of wanting children if I could keep her. Men.. women.. it doesn’t matter what gender.. if you are in a fucking relationship.. please do yourself a favor and don’t forget about the other person. Give them attention, tell them good morning. If you wake up next to them don’t forget to kiss, hug, ask each other how your day was, offer a foot rub, massage, cook for them, do the dishes.. and this goes for men too. It doesn’t matter what gender.. both are capable of doing tasks and it doens’t need to be assigned to only one gender. I’m just as much a man even if I’m doing the dishes because quite frankly I’ve always loved doing the dishes but dare any of my guy friends talk shit cuz they know I’d beat their ass but in reality if your bro is going to hate on you for taking care of your home and making it look good then he’s just a hater and not a friend. Therefor delete that mofo out of your life if all they do is put you down. If it’s just joking around that’s one thing! But I used to get clowned by all my guy friends in high school for being too emotional like a girl and even though they’d still want me on their team when we played sports.. I never truly fit in with all my bros as much as I’d like to.. but then after high school I noticed even the mother fuckers that talked shit to me in high school run up to me crying like a whining pug begging me to tell them how to get a women to like them and for me to give them advice on dating and how they found my facebook and noticed all the girls I’ve got on my page (( this was before I was married.. when I was single.. and I think it was also when Myspace was around so definitely years back during my 20s.. when life was much more simple. I will be 33 in a week.. and I honestly think about dying more than living.. it’s fucking sad.. I don’t like it. And I apologize for cursing.. I just need a good woman to help me find that light again. I don’t mind helping myself out and being the best version of myself. I know I shouldn’t rely on a woman to help me back up in times like these. But a guy like me was programmed to be in in love. I’ve never been the one to do the casual hook ups and see how many girls I can score with. And I feel like a lot of people ( guys and girls ) envy me because they think I get so much sex and am satisfied but it’s not exactly like that. Yes I might have a lot of women sleeping with me.. but I tend to attract the women that just want me to fuck them and leave them quick.. or the women that want to stick around but it’s the kind of women that have gotten me into trouble. The ones that test my masculinity to see if it matches the “muscles” they point out that I have i guess and send 3-4 guys to start a fight with me because they enjoy being entertained. I’ve almost gone to prison because I’ve had to defend myself from 3 bigger guys than me and I wondered what the hell was going on until the very end when I grab the last one off the floor and he’s a bloody fucking mess but he’s the only one doing the talking and he explains that it was the girl standing over there smiling like a fucking psycho that convinced them to do it because she lied to them and said that I beat her.. yeah.. I attract nothing but danger.. and all I want is peace! Guess I’ll find that when I succeed at suicide attempt number 2.. but don’t worry.. it won’t happen anytime soon. I’ll seek God and continue living my life thinking there is a woman that actually wants true romance and wants that movie love.. I mean for crying out loud I am the guy that will write you a poem on the spot and serenade you with a song just bring me a piano and I’ll bring you the flowers and court you.. listen to you.. do anything to make you happy.. and TRULY love you like a woman deserves to be loved.. BUT WHERE ARE THEY GOD? WHERE ARE THE WOMEN THAT WANT THE REAL THING? Cuz you’ve disappointed me and I know it’s not your fault.. it’s just life sometimes. Sorry for the ranting. I’ve got nobody to talk to that actually gives a shit so there ya go. Guess that’s all I got. Take care. Men and women.. love yourselves, respect yourselves.. and respect one another. We are human. We have flaws.. but I know we all have a heart and are capable of loving someone if we actually put ourselves out there and learn to trust! Communication is important.. and so is showing the other person attention and lending them an ear.. LISTEN, SLOW TO SPEAK, COMPROMISE, RESPECT, AND LOVE SHOULD BE THE EASIEST PART but we make it so damn difficult don’t we?

        • Kitten Holiday

          It sounds like in your wife’s time of suffering she needed your strength to lean on but you were looking to her for strength and it was too much for her so she shit down and rejected you because you emotional reaction felt like neediness and supplication which are repulsive to women. I’m sorry for what you went through. I think you’ve been given s lot of bad and mixed messages about what women want. And that’s why many women seem to only try to take advantage of you either for sex or support. I hope you find what you are looking for. No more mr nice guy by Glover would be a great book for you to read.

          • dany john

            Thank you for the advice =) And yes! That book is on my list of next reads! How did you hear about that book!? Oh wait nvm.. you are one of the rare ones who knows all about the manosphere and you mentioned you got to meet Roosh!? Unless I’m completely out of it but I swear I think it’s in one of your articles.. either way.. you intrigue me!

  • Big Schlong MGTOW

    So those are the only two reasons for the acrimony between the sexes, eh?
    So like, misandric family court, no-fault divorce-rape, paternity fraud, and false rape allegations have absolutely nothing to do with it, huh?
    WTF insular, entitled world are you living in?

  • rebecca

    after 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love,– on several occasions he threatened to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called DR. Okojie who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contacted him, he helped me cast a love spell on my husband and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem and all kinds of problem you find difficult to resolve and he will put a lasting solution to it. You can also contact him if you are unable to bear children. Here is his email drosumahtemple@gmailcom

  • rebecca

    after 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love,– on several occasions he threatened to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies,,, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called DR. Okojie who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contacted him, he helped me cast a love spell on my husband and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem and all kinds of problem you find difficult to resolve and he will put a lasting solution to it. You can also contact him if you are unable to bear children. Here is his email drosumahtemple@gmailcom

  • R.J. Moore II

    Mostly I just find women annoying. Stuff guys find ‘cute’ I find tedious, and I refuse to have conversations with people that have no point. Women talk just to fill up the air, it’s horrifying. Sex is not worth dealing with attention whores and drama queens.

  • John

    Women are utterly narcissistic creatures so of course they love attention, but if they get it from a man without having to give anything in return, they lose all respect for him. This is what most men don’t understand. Male attention and validation are extremely valuable commodities that should never be given away for free. Just as a man wouldn’t walk down the street handing out his hard earned money to women, so he should never give away his attention and validation to women without receiving something in return. Women need and want to EARN a man’s attention anyway. That is the only way they will ever truly respect and desire a man. Men who give their attention away for free are the equivalent of sluts who give away sex for free: men will always be happy to take it but will never respect such women, let alone consider them as long term partners.

    Men should never give women a damn thing. Stop buying them drinks. Stop paying then compliments. Stop helping them with anything. Don’t acknowledge them at all. Every time you do you’re just lowering your social value in her eyes and showing her that she is above you and therefore deserves to exploit you and treat you like an inferior. The golden rule is this: women want men who they perceive as being BETTER than them. Never chase women. Always let them come to you. Women will never admit this but it is the brutal truth and always has been.

    Women DO NOT want to be EQUAL to their men. They want him to be their superior. This is what really gets women wet. They are hardwired to mate with the dominant alpha males of the tribe, those men with the most social status and resources to ensure the offspring from such a union have the best possible genes, i.e. the strongest, healthiest, and best provided for. Anyone who thinks this is bullshit needs to open their eyes and look around at the world we live in. Male doctors and lawyers and senators marry their secretaries and female nurses all the time. It NEVER happens the other way. A female doctor wouldn’t even consider marrying a male orderly. Why? Because he is beneath her in status and wealth and therefore invisible to her and utterly unattractive as a socially recognised partner.

    Female nurses marry male doctors because those men are unquestionably above them. Better educated, earn a lot more money, have higher social status and more assets. This is what women desire most in a man. Because when he gets the attention, recognition and prestige that his occupation and social value warrants, she gets it by association and it makes her feel not just good but BETTER than other women who don’t have high status husbands. This is what women reallly want: to feel superior to other women via the wealth and social standing of their husbands.

    • Aaron noone

      JOHN – Spot on.

      The real proof is to see who’s the one usually getting dumped –
      Is it the stoic alpha male or the attention whore female?

      That’s right.
      No one dumps a stoic alpha male because he never gets “picked up”
      You can’t pick a grounded man. Therefore, you can’t really dump it.
      But when you place your pleasure in external validation, attention – you’re floating in the air and setting yourself up for a fall.

      Histrionic Personality Disorder is the technical term for being an attention seeking female.
      Get it treated or keep getting dumped, we hardly care. 🙂

  • John Doe

    At least most of the real good old fashioned ladies in the past were the best compared to what is out there today.

  • S--

    If Ms. Holiday seriously thinks she can get everyone who reads this (yet alone everyone else) to believe what she claims to be the case, then I must admit that I feel bad for her. Actually, I feel bad for every female on the planet at this exact moment. Unlike men, their true sexuality remains a mystery among most of the male population, and out of fear of losing their “so-called” value, stereotypical image and thus power, the poor souls are forced to repress something they actually want so very desperately. Having said all that, they have no choice but to lie and think it’s helping their case, when indeed it’s doing the opposite. But you know what? Only they can change that. And it’s starts by telling the “truth”. After all…

    “Truth saves. Falsehood destroys.”

    — Holy Prophet Mohammed

  • Steve

    Just so many low life loser feminists women that are real men haters these days that need to get a real life, since they just don’t have one at all. Get some help you idiots.

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