When people get out of a tragic or toxic situation, they tend to go a little buck wild. I see it often; they are coming out of chaos, out of repression, out of despair-they have broken free from pain, suffering, confusion and limits. Once they breathe their freedom, they expel their conditioning; they purge their doubts, they reject their insecurities and they live with abandon!
It looks like they are out of control.
Others, on the sidelines, wag fingers like “oh she’s gone wild.” They judge as if it were a bad thing. As if her containment were more admirable than her freedom. As if open, liberated, balls-to-the-wall living were something she should quit.
Those who have not suffered or who are suffering still look on in fear. “Reign it in! Behave yourself!” They chatter among themselves, as if to congratulate themselves on their tidy, sorted out lives. As if their steadiness were a badge of honor.
Then they watch and wait for the fall. They even hope for the fall because it will validate their fears. They may even contribute to a fall as they continue to watch smugly, talking about her every move as if her choices presented an actual threat to them.
It makes you wonder if these people think that living with repression, suffering and limits were the goal? As if we were meant to make minimal impact, leave no marks on this life. “You’re going to regret it!”
Regret what? Taking a chance? Living to the limits? Breaking free? Falling? Failing?
Please! That’s what we live for!
They are ones who seek the comfort of their limits.
Those of us who have come through to the other side, there are no regrets. Regret died back in the cages we escaped. The prison of our expectations, the cage of other people’s opinions. Those who have survived have no reason to fear the judgment of other people. No one will ever be as hard on us as we once were on ourselves.
Now, as escapees, we don’t fear the fall. We fell once we can fall again. We learned that we can bounce.