Tag: Diary

Broke Ass Single Mom Life Hacks for Christmas

Go from ghetto to glitter for less than $50!! 1. Use a fake tree. It only costs money once. Let’s pretend you at least have a tree. Also, fake trees come with their own tree stand. That’s stability right there. Now you have something hard, […]

This Date-ish Thing

This Date-ish Thing

Dear Diary, So there’s this new guy …. We met on Match.com and he seemed smart and engaging enough to keep my attention. I met him for my typical “pre-date-date” which is either a coffee or a drink at an early time.  This is when I […]

Summer Camp and Badass Boyfriends

Dear Diary,You know how it is when you snag a new guy and he’s one of those irresistible strong, silent types that drive you absolutely bonkers?

Let's Get Dirty

There is nothing better for my soul than gardening.  The sun is too bright for me to see the screen of my phone so I keep it inside.  The fresh air kisses my skin.  I get on my knees with my floral printed gloves and […]

The Thursday Night Booty Text

The Thursday Night Booty Text

Does he REALLY think I’m the kind of woman who would accept a text invitation for a poorly disguised booty call on a Thursday night?

Stop! You’re Making Me Blush!

Stop! You’re Making Me Blush!

Dear Diary, There are so many challenges in dating when you have kids.  When do you introduce them to your new boyfriend? Is your new suitor worth the cost of a babysitter?  What if you get stood up and you’ve paid the babysitter $40?  What […]

Love, or Something Like That

Love, or Something Like That

You know those girls who get dumped then go out with their friends and post YOLO and memes about no fucks given? I’m not that girl. I’m not chill. I don’t just roll with it.

I Am A Woman. I Am Kitten Holiday.

I am a loyal friend. I will be there for you through your ups and downs, at your side, on the phone, at the ready, just say the word. I will listen again and again if that’s what you need or I will tell you to shut the fuck […]

The End of Badass

Dear Diary, I said something was Badass and my daughter rolled her eyes. “What?” I said. “That’s so old news.” she said.  She’s ten. She’s not even ALLOWED to say half of that word. How the hell is “badass” old news? And who is she […]

Good Girl; Bad Dog

Good Girl; Bad Dog

So you know in the beginning of a relationship when you are trying really hard to be cool and cute and clever and to somehow give the impression you have your shit together?