In 2017, I spent many months working on a collection of essays culled from my website. I wanted to publish this book as a “best of” alongside several new essays on the same theme of relationships, human nature, and sex. The book is 50,000 words long (approximately 140 pages) and it lives on my computer. I have lost interest in publishing it.
I am a fiction writer. I have enjoyed writing essays as they have sharpened my writing skills and helped me put some of my ideas into words but ultimately, I like to create characters and stories to live out the ideas I have. Instead of “convincing you” of an idea through an essay, I want you to “live the idea” through my fiction so that the idea is your own, even if only for the span of time you suspend disbelief to exist in the world of my making.
I will probably publish this book eventually, along with my book of essays on feminine badassery and owning your shit as a woman. But first I want to finish some fiction.
I’ve had a story clunking around my head for a long time. It has a romantic element but isn’t a romance. Because I’m so good at writing about the sexual and emotional dynamic between men and women, many have encouraged me to write romance and I just can’t. I like my characters tortured. I don’t like happy endings. I don’t like anything that feels contrived or easy and that’s how Romance is to me. I’m not dissing Romance as a genre. Just like I wouldn’t diss science fiction, but I know that these genres are not for me.
After putting together this story, it’s many layers, developing the characters, plotting out the story and detangling the timeline, the final piece for me to figure out was the point of view.
To my shock (and disappointment) I will be writing this novel with a male narrator. I hope I can pull it off! It’s really his story.
My next shock was the surprise ending which hit me when I was trying to find a resolution to a certain plot point. I won’t spoil it, but it’s a twist that will make you (if I write it right) want to go back and read the book again to see if you see it coming. I love these kinds of twists and I hope you love it too! I can’t wait to tackle this book. I am hoping my discipline and stamina are up to the task because I’m guessing it will be a doozy of a saga. The story spans twenty-five years, three locations, has nine main characters will full stories of their own, three love stories, a car crash, a hustler, a road trip and lots of sex! In the end, the genre became obvious to me and I’m not sure why it took so long for me to see it but it’s a psychological thriller. It’s an emotional roller coaster of hope and despair, love, hate, sex and fear. It will be painfully true when you wish it were fantasy and fantasy where you wish it were true and I hope it leaves you exhilarated, exhausted and craving more.
I’ve outlined the story, fleshed out the timeline, built the characters and locations and all I have to do now is write the damn thing.
Once this book is finished, I will go back and publish the essays. I just don’t want to be that dating advice girl. I really am no expert in dating. It’s sort of ridiculous to take advice on love from a perpetually single girl, you know! But they were fun to write and do have some value so I will keep them online and will collect them in print form once I’m established as a ‘serious’ writer. Ha. Let’s hope!
So, I may be quiet this year. If I am quiet, that means I’m working and that’s a good thing. If you want to make sure you know about the release, sign up for my newsletter and check back here.
I hope you have a wonderful 2018 and meet all your goals also!