You Can’t "Red Pill" Someone Else

You Can’t "Red Pill" Someone Else

The red pill has entered the common lexicon as a term. Many are confused by what it means and just as many are confused about how it happens.  I wrote about what “red pill” means to me here, “What is the Red Pill“.  No, I will explain why you can’t “red pill” someone else.

We want to believe that we can learn through the wisdom of others as much as we want to believe we can teach others. But it seems to me that there are limits to what information and knowledge can be learned through reading, observing and listening.  Some lessons can only be learned through experience.

Change is unpleasant, both because we are creatures of comfort but also because it usually comes out of failure.  If something is going well, we try very hard not to change anything, but if something is going very badly, change becomes a necessity to move a way from frustration, failure, and pain.

When we try to learn from others, it comes from a desire to avoid the suffering and pain that the teacher experienced prior to their change. We want you to benefit from the wisdom without suffering through the lesson. The teacher wants us to benefit too.

But lasting change doesn’t come without the painful lesson. No one will go through the effort of changing if they don’t perceive a benefit from the work they will have to do.  If the work is hard and the benefit is low, they will not fully learn the lesson.

The problem is I see lots of red pilled people trying to force red pills on others and getting needlessly frustrated with the lack of tangible results.  They react by getting angry and calling the blue pilled person an idiot.  The truth is you can’t red pill someone else. Just like you can’t change for someone else and you can’t suffer for someone else.  Change and suffering are things that each person experiences on their own.  Change and suffering are integral to getting red pilled.

There are people everywhere living life with a blue pill mindset without any suffering from their mindset. They may suffer for other reasons and they may even experience bouts of suffering, but the suffering is not so significant that they have no choice but to change. They wait it out and it gets better. Hard work is paying off. Their spouse isn’t leaving. Their job is steady, maybe even fulfilling. They follow the rules, are politically correct, don’t question authority or media or other people and everything goes along just fine. They are happy. They are thriving. Why would they want to change? Why would they want to worry? Why would they want to question everything from the air they breathe to the rising of the sun  when there is absolutely nothing wrong? They would be enjoying the good things.

You are wasting your time warning them of the impending doom or trying to convince them that they are suffering when they do not feel it. They will think you are nuts. And they do. When you try to convince someone that the forces are working against them but they don’t see any evidence of that, they will think you are paranoid and delusional.

Even if you could convince them that some of the ideals they hold dear are not true, and that to be successful and thrive they will need to live in a very different way and that once they found the truth in one area of life it would lead them to uncover another lie somewhere else that would require their time and energy to tackle and understand again. And this would happen over and over again?

They would not have the discipline and consistency needed to internalize the change. They would be relying on you constantly and have inconsistent even incorrect understanding of what they are supposed to do. Have you seen people who are beginning to learn something so they are full of questions but so many of their questions could be answered if they took a minute to think it through.  But they do not trust themselves. They trust you, if you convinced them, and that means they trust your judgment over their own because they are going on your word as opposed to the evidence they see in their lives. As a result they want you to lead them in every way, because they are blind. They can’t see the problem, so they can’t find a solution.  You see the problem, and you have to walk them through the solution ever time.

This is a waste of time. Unless someone is paying you, you are wasting your time teaching people who do not see the problem.  They will not learn that way and you will not be able to help others who are ready.

We don’t go looking for how to deal with grief until we have lost someone. We don’t go looking for how to heal from pain until we are hurt. And we don’t go looking for red pill wisdom until we have been betrayed by a blue pill mindset.

Most of the red pill advice writing is read and appreciated by people who have already suffered their red pill awakening.  They read the masters in the manosphere or other self help because the information resonates with them. It gives perspective, insight and clarification to experiences they have already been through.  But if they have not witnessed and felt the effects of their reality betraying them (red pill), they have no reason to believe that it could or will.

No amount of warning about “hypergamy,” “sexual market value,” “emasculation of men,” destruction of gender roles will make them change. Your warnings are as fantastical and farcical as  the “end of the world.”  Is it any wonder that red pillers are often called conspiracy theorists, tin hat wearers?  We aren’t wise to the apocalypse. We are on the other side of it.  We have experienced the “end of the world as we knew it” when whatever we experienced that red pilled us hit.

This sounds obvious and yet, we easily get frustrated and angry when people claim to see and understand what we are talking about but they do not make the changes to overcome it. You can’t convince or force someone to accept a painful reality if they do not suffer from it themselves. The evidence may be there, the statistics, the facts may be abundant, but until the suffering is felt personally, it won’t stick.

When it comes to red pill advice, the information serves two purposes:

  1. Helps the person who has taken the red pill to gain perspective and understanding and provide tools to help them go through the change they are already experiencing.
  2. Serves to plant a seed of doubt in those who live happily in the blue pill world in the hopes that should a red pill be headed their way, they may be able to anticipate it and address it before it destroys them.

That’s the thing.

Your efforts are wasted firstly, as I already noted, because they will never put in the energy to make the changes. Secondly because there’s no guarantee they will even need these tools.

The truth is, many people live in a blue pill reality and never get fucked over. Things work out according to plan. Effort in, results out. Work pays off, love is enough. Not fair! I know. But it’s true.

You can plant the seed and you can wait for them to go through the change themselves.  Instead of wasting time trying to protect and educate others, spend more time on yourself. It’s very likely, you’ve got another red pill coming.

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2 thoughts on “You Can’t "Red Pill" Someone Else”

  • I love this post because it makes so much sense. You and I both are on the “red pill road” and have many likeminded friends who are also on the same path. However, as you pointed out, not everyone is on that path, and that’s perfectly fine.

    You’re right, everyone is on their own journey and living at their own pace. Which means that rather than getting pissed when people aren’t seeing the “Matrix” like we are, we need to chill the fuck out, and focus on our own shit.

    At the end of the day, we are only really able to influence our own lives, so perhaps it’s best to put attention on our own journey and only help or inform when asked.

  • This is an excellent point.
    Change, especially change that flies in the face of everything people are taught from birth, does not come without a powerful motivator. No amount of talking and explaining can change behavior so ingrained in personal identity. Only pain can cause people to look behind the curtain and see the strings.

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