I get a lot of flack on this blog about my writing about women and female sexuality. I get a lot of angry letters from men who think female sexuality is shameful and evil or should be repressed. I get a lot of angry letters from women who think that my writing about intimacy and vulnerability is counterproductive to showing women as strong and independent.
It’s mind-boggling how angry people are about a woman writing about mature, sexual, powerful, healthy women who love men. It’s the new thing to hate, apparently.
I’m interested in our human nature, what drives us biologically, emotionally and sexually. The point I try to make in my writing is that the way the laws and society are right now is in conflict with our true nature. Women want to be desired and pursued. We also want to be protected.
None of that is happening with feminism.
Modern feminism is trying to reverse the roles with women making all the rules, setting the tone and controlling the environment both sexual and political.
Women deny the protection of loving, caring men while trying to be “strong and independent” and as a result they’ve turned to the government and legal system for protection. They’ve demonized masculinity by redefining dominance, strength, power and leadership as predatory qualities.
There is a push for women to not take responsibility for their behavior in the moment (victim culture) but use these resources to settle the score later. Or use govt. and the law as bullies to fulfill their agendas, provide protection, provide resources and cater to their wants.
But we are seeing now that these protections are paper-thin because while women now have almost everything they ever wanted, we are anxious, depressed, struggle with mental illness and more dissatisfied and unhappy than we have ever been!
Our nature is at odds with society because the tables have turned and men, in their desire to please women, have allowed them to control the agenda. It has backfired.
I’m sure I’ll get called out on this but there is a lot of truth to the fact that women don’t really know what we want. We say we want one thing and we think we want one thing because we have an idea of what it’s like and it’s exciting, but when we get it we are miserable. We think we want to be in charge because it looks great and excites us when we see someone else being in charge and in control of everything, but when most of us are actually put in that position, we get anxious and handle it badly. We see this happen all the time. And by this I’m not saying women are inferior or that no women can lead. I think a lot of women are wonderful. And in a truly nurturing, supportive, empowering environment we can achieve and accomplish amazing things. But we aren’t in that environment. We are in an environment that caters to whims, coddles us emotionally and doesn’t hold us accountable.
If we celebrate the true strengths and talents of women instead of pushing women to compete to do what the boys do we would be a lot happier and more fulfilled. We would be less anxious. We’d be complementing the nature of men while expressing our feminine nature.
This is the reason why I see feminists as the true misogynists. They are the ones who discredit and reject feminine qualities, female strengths. They are the ones who applaud when a woman succeeds on a man’s terms but shames and degrades women who succeed on her own terms. They want women to embrace casual sex, aggressive competition, and reject beauty, grace and traditional relationships. They will demean and insult women who want to embrace their feminine nature, who take comfort in the love of a man, who desire to please and commit to a man and who embrace feminine charm as a source of strength over aggression and intimidation.
Now, the traditional idea of woman itself is under attack–favoring masculine qualities at one end of the spectrum and childlike qualities at the other while rejecting the strengths of mature feminine women. The woman: being a woman, loving like a woman, hurting like a woman, giving and caring like a woman, having an active sexual appetite for a man, desiring protection and security… these are the qualities under feminism will destroy just as soon as they’ve completed their destruction of the masculine male. And of course, we can see, it’s already starting.