I am a loyal friend. I will be there for you through your ups and downs, at your side, on the phone, at the ready, just say the word. I will listen again and again if that’s what you need or I will tell you to shut the fuck up and get on with it, because we all need a friend to tell us that too. I am that friend.
I am powerful and fragile. I cry easily, not in sobbing heaves but out of nowhere my lips will tremble and tears will spill out. I will doubt myself and wonder if you see every naked part of me and if you love it. I want to know I deserve it, most days I do, but some days I doubt. I am terrified of being tolerated or living in a lie. I sometimes lean on others to talk out my inner conflicts. I sometimes ask for help. And sometimes I’m stubborn and I want to be alone and right and righteous. Those times, without fail, I am wrong. I sometimes react without thinking and ask forgiveness. Sometimes I’m not deserving, but I’m glad I get it anyway.
I am a rebel. I resist convention. I question universal truths. I resist authority as a blind obligation. I believe everyone has an agenda and I want to know what it is before I trust you. At the same time, I have enormous respect and admiration for those who are true leaders, who stand up for what’s right, who defend and protect those who are weaker or cannot defend themselves. I go weak in the knees for a hero. I do not take anything for granted. I trust slowly.
I’m a passionate lover. I will tempt and tease you. I will explore every inch of you over and over with new delight. I will caress you and sleep by your side. I will hold your hand and hold your heart. I will bring you to the edge and make you wait. I will take you over the edge just to see you tremble and shake and explode in ecstasy. I will share that ecstasy with you. What a wonderful gift. I want to love and live in the moment. I give it all or nothing.
I’m not what you expect. I’m not what you’re used to. I won’t fit in your categories or boxes. I won’t accept limitations and I won’t be discouraged just because something is not easy or comfortable. I won’t give up. Ever. If it’s worth it I’ll get it or I’ll create it from scratch. I’m not holding back. I’m not slowing down. As long as I’m alive I’m living like it’s my only chance. Because it is.
I am a child of God. I am His wild child. I was the one who would not put on clothes to run outside in the sun and chase birds. I was the one who tested His word and fate. I had to find out for myself. I had to know. I had to do it myself. I still do. I was the one who grew up too fast and too boldly, my mind struggling to mature at pace with my developed body. I was the one who rebelled and tested His patience. If He is grey, it was me. I went out of my way, it seems to test my will against His. I know His mercy and His grace.
I’ve got big tits and big ambitions. I’ve got a big appetite for bad decisions. I’ve got a good heart and a naughty nature. I’m smart and I’m frisky. I take chances, steal kisses, give too much and pay the consequences. I love trouble but not chaos. I love danger, but not harm. I drive too fast, stay up too late, dance without a dance floor. Curiosity will likely be the death of me. I talk to strangers. I overshare. I take chances and I get in trouble. I’ve needed my ass saving more than once, more than I should admit, but He has not given up on me yet.
I am who I am meant to be. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way and most have stuck. I accept you where you are and want the same from you. I care about strangers and about the world. I care more than I should at times, but I care and no betrayal or disappointment or heartbreak has stopped me yet; I intend to keep on caring. I care about you. I care about your story, your feelings, your dreams and your ideas. But I don’t care about your opinions. Especially not your opinions of me. How could you possibly know me enough to judge? I’m a work in progress, your opinion is irrelevant.
I’m a troublemaker. I am irreverent. I like to ruffle your feathers and make you blush. I like to make you sweat. I like to make you wonder. And I like to make you think. I will challenge you on things you hold as certain. It challenges me too. I take chances. I have no fear of failure or success. I am wild and can’t be contained by your rules or expectations. But I mean no harm. I like to play.
I am a woman. I have soft breasts and a soft belly. I’ve got curves on my ass and my thighs. I kiss tenderly and touch lightly. I ache from your pain as much as my own. I bleed. Sometimes my hormones get the best of me. Sometime my ego gets carried away. I have small features and small bones. I can’t open jars. I have made life, twice, and delivered it into this world screaming and sweating, and I recovered. I can love forever or just for a moment. I can survive.
I’m a princess whose fairy tale has no prince and no ending.