Don't get caught in the Bangzone

There’s a saying that says the only thing worse than being single is wishing you were.  And I would have to agree that it’s terrible to be in a bad relationship that you know you need to end.  I disagree that it’s horrible to be single.  Being single can be a lot of fun and very rewarding.  But there’s another relationship space, a sort of holding pen, that is worse than being single and just as bad as being in a bad relationship.  It’s called the bangzone.

The bangzone is for women the equivalent of the friendzone for men. It is when you are given access to a guy you want more from (usually a romantic relationship) but he has given you limited access to him. He enjoys you and will spend time with you, but he doesn’t want the relationship to go anywhere emotional. He is attracted to you and will have sex with you but he’s not investing in you.  He likes you. He truly likes you but he doesn’t like you ‘enough’ to give you his full attention. You are simply keeping his bed warm and keeping him busy until he finds someone he wants to invest in more.  While this is a painful state of affairs for the woman who wants a relationship but is settling for sex, for the man often this feels like a great arrangement and is no sign of disrespect or lack of admiration from the woman.  He simply wants something different from her. Just like when a woman keeps a male friend around and invites him out and lets him do things for her or help her, she feels this is great because she loves his company and friendship.  But the ‘fallen brother in the friendzone’ is silently tortured with his unrequited desires.

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6 thoughts on “Don't get caught in the Bangzone

  1. Yeah,though do you think that men, despite their unrequited desires—and perhaps despite even knowing said desires will ever be fulfilled, enjoy this “torture” in some did way. I know when I was in my 20s I did.

    But perhaps that’s because with men, the object out of reach is sex, but in the scenario you describe, it is the emotional investment from him that’s unattainable. And I think the form of torture men undergo can have a bit of pleasure mixed in (even if on a subconscious level). But I am guessing that the reverse of that—the torture of the “bangzone” you describe doesn’t have the same silver lining…or can it?

  2. The bangzone is worse than the friendzone. At least in the friendzone you can say hey she’s clearly wasting my time. For the bangzone everything is a little more gray

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