The Truth About Sex

We are living in an environment controlled by shame and animosity. We are conditioned to accept four myths about our nature and even when we claim to deny or disagree with them, we have not completely escaped their control of us. We are still limited by social conditioning and not enlightened through self-awareness.

We have been conditioned to believe FOUR LIES about love and sex and they are ruining our relationships.

Lie 1. Women don’t enjoy sex

Lie 2. Women’s bodies are a commodity

Lie 3. Men are led only by their drive for sex and aren’t capable of love

Lie 4. If a woman doesn’t get something in exchange for sex, she didn’t consent

Let’s dissect this:

1. Women are criticized for being slutty, promiscuous, accused of being whores should they dare to openly embrace sex as a positive, pleasurable activity because we live in a society that perpetuates the myth that women don’t like sex.

2. Men are criticized for seducing women or seeking sex without offering anything in exchange (relationship, commitment, money, status, gifts, etc.) because we live in a society that perpetuates the myth that women’s bodies are a commodity. If she gets nothing, then she’s been taken advantage of and it was not truly consensual, because what woman would trade her commodity willingly for nothing?

3. Men are labeled as creeps and predators for studying pick up and seduction or are emasculated when they are in committed relationships, shamed with the phrase “pussy-whipped” because we live in a society that perpetuates the myth that men are led only by their drive for sex and aren’t capable of love.

4.  When men pick up a woman and seduce her for sex, even when she willingly participates and enjoys herself, if she isn’t seen as a slut, he is seen as a predator who must have manipulated her, deceived her into having sex with him.  If she isn’t labeled a slut, he is labeled a predator or a bad boy.  If she is labeled a slut, then he’s off the hook.  How about the possibility that they were both excited and turned on and decided to enjoy the moment and act out their desires together?

I didn’t invent this. I’m just laying it out for you. Often proposing or behaving in a way that contradicts these statements is met with anger. Some examples are:

An empowered, sexually confident woman challenges Myth One that women don’t like sex.

A woman who enjoys and participates in sex “freely” and for sex itself challenges Myth Two that a woman’s body is a commodity.

A man who seeks to improve his chances and abilities in meeting, talking to and seducing women with the intention of developing a loving relationship with a life partner challenges Myth Three that men are driven by compulsive desires and do not by nature value love or intimacy.

A man takes a woman home for the night. She goes willingly.  She is labeled a slut and he is labeled a bad boy or accused of deceiving her to get what he wants.

OR

A man offers to take her out, service her car, buys her a gift (does the dishes, husbands…) or in some way offers her a service or reward and then expect sex in return.

You can say you are a feminist, you can say you are sex positive, you can say you are open minded. But when the rubber hits the road,  are your actions consistent with your words? Anger and a dismissive attitude reveal your desire to cling to and defend the familiar, even if it is limiting, even if it is harmful, even if it is inconsistent with how you identify yourself.

So, if you accept these FOUR FACTS about sex and love, then you will not feel threatened by sexually empowered women, sexually charged men.  You will understand why people may want to improve their skills in finding a mate by studying seduction.  And you will see that it’s quite manly, in fact, to love a woman deeply.

1. Women love sex
2. Women can enjoy sex because it feels good and no other reason
3. Men want to give and receive love
4. A woman’s consent is her decision and not tied to compensation (emotional, relationship or material)

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6 thoughts on “The Truth About Sex

  1. I love this post. Very well thought out and informative. A complicated and interesting discussion. I do think women that are open and strong do get a world of shit. Women that admit they like sex are viewed as sluts. There are men that like to read and study the art of seduction in hopes that it will help them have more meaningful and lasting relationships and there are men that study these

  2. Great post. Some of these ridiculous fallacies are based in the prudery of the past, and have no place in a truly evolved and mature society. Which I sincerely hope we live in some day. Thanks in particular for reminding the world that men are loving creatures. Those of us seeking love and connection often find it impossible to talk to anyone about our feelings or our need for affection and connection for fear of being judged negatively.

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