It's Just Change

Dear Diary,

I’m doing what I want. I feel no urgency or necessity to reply to that text or that phone call.  I’ll get to it when I get to it. Or I won’t.  I have no need or desire to be available to your whims. I’ve got my own whims to attend to. Frivolous nonsense of grand importance to no one but me that I’ve neglected while I was giving you my attention, my affection, my body and the glorious juices that flow when I give.  I love to give.  But for now I’m not giving and I’m not taking. I’m just doing what I want. I’m twisting and twirling and laughing and dreaming.

Did you know that I haven’t looked at these pictures in forever? And I almost forgot about this book I was reading? Last night I slept naked.  Not in your shirt or your shorts, not in something sexy or frilly, instead I climbed into fresh sheets that smelled like me– just me–and I pulled them around me.  It’s nothing against you. I loved soaking in everything about you while I did.  But winds change and I’m fickle. I needed more. And I need to keep moving until I find it. That’s all. It’s just change. It’s a Kitten Holiday.

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